It was a good story! But I had trouble finding who was talking to whom. Please review your 7th and 8th grade composition classes and determine how to write conversation into your text.
I hate when punctuation, spelling, and grammar get in the way of a good story. This has potential to be a good story, but when you can't tell who is saying what to whom there is a problem.
by
Anonymous02/28/12
Unreadable!
Fix it up, repost it, and then I'll read it. As is, it's painful!
English
Lots of room for improvement.
Using quotation marks and commas can do wonders. The plot is fine though.
Punctuation
It was a good story! But I had trouble finding who was talking to whom. Please review your 7th and 8th grade composition classes and determine how to write conversation into your text.
Keep up the good stories.
It's called punctuation.
I hate when punctuation, spelling, and grammar get in the way of a good story. This has potential to be a good story, but when you can't tell who is saying what to whom there is a problem.
Unreadable!
Fix it up, repost it, and then I'll read it. As is, it's painful!
Way too rushed. Awful grammar. Good plot.
... that last paragraph
The last paragraph seems kinda rushed. Could have played around a little longer.
The whole thing is rushed
not very believable either
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