Badass

Let it roll on daily please lol

Awesome

I really like how you started this story and I would like to see it as a big series. I want to know what Zdenek does and peoples reactions to him.

You should consider getting an editor. A couple typos and missing words were a tad distracting. There are several good ideas here, but the story as a whole could be drawn out more. Try letting your story introduce the details of AE rather than speaking directly to the reader.

Smashing

Curious where you are going with this.

Thank you

I really enjoyed your story. True there were a few grammer errors that a editor might help with, but nothing that hurts the story. It was a very nice first chapter. Your world is set up, your main character has a dark past. The story was nicely crafted also. Congrats for you first attempt. I look forward to seeing where you take this story.

Bainsidhe

hrm...

pretty good start, looking forward to more especially if that was just 3hrs...

also, another iTrash story... gotta love em...

shame

It's a shame that you could only write a small pice of a story. try writing a whole one .

Good beginning

I don't know about everyone, but i like the way you begin. Puts out enough information to get going without being overwhelmed. The flashback/dream sets up a brief history that is enough to get me interested. I didn't notice any errors myself, but they have to be pretty glaring to draw my attention most of the time, so whatever might be there isn't of grave importance at this time.

Keep up the good work!

I appreciate you.

To all those who've read this, I really appreciate you.

To those who commented; Thanks a bunch! It really made me smile, and the fact that you liked it despite my goofs. Believe me, I noticed my mistakes, and they stung. Even more so, because I made that speech about my grammer being alright and such. I was wincing as though I was being punched in the gut.

Just so you know, there's alot more to Zdeneks' past than just that. All will be revealved at a later stage.

I've also submitted chapter 2, so watch this space.

PS : I'd really like $100, so vote for me! (LOL)

Peace.

Dionysosk

Hope you continue soon...

Getting tired of rereading your stories ;)

Great don't leave us hanging.

Sad.

Hopefully the story gets less depressing. Seems like it could be really good.

and in the second to last paragraph was it supposed to be "God why he could remember Every single day"

A good start

I liked it. This was a pretty good start, and half way reminded me of anime, (Not a specific one, but just in general) perhaps just the style or something, I am not sure. With a little more detail, and a bit of polishing, and another draft this could be very good imo, (and unique to my experience).

warning

its an awesome story very badass character but its unfinished but dont let that stop you its hell of a story

None

Love mystic stories.

****

Something new!!!! Yes!!!
Great plot start. Grammar is a bit... disjointed. Keep it coming.

bullshit

should have laid off on information dump: made the first chapter cringy as fuck. and the protagonist! my god, you should have also added that he wore mascara and had scars on his wrist if you want to really drive home the fact of his dark and brooding personality.

Disagree

Very good.
It has a great amount of info that grabbed my attention and has me wanting to read more.

JC

Love it!!

I'm looking forward to the continuation (hopefully) if this series. I thought it was a great first start.