by Lia Monde
but a little bit too long. You have a great deal of good stuff in here though. I would pare it down to the best lines and you would have an awesome poem :)
This was the first poem that I have read on this site, and I must say that was an enjoyable read.
There is one opportunity which I feel this poem (and most others) miss(es): The opportunity to let the reader work out more for themselves. I like dropping hints rather than explicit statements. Just as a slow strip is more erotic than immediate nakedness, so is a slow, mysterious, hintful start in a text meant as an erotic experience.
Hi Lia,
I just finished reading one of your stories (Dorm Fire) and now your poems and I find then a whole bunch of fun. I liked Janice's playfulness and the way she made Kyle's life interesting although he would probably not see it that way. But what the hell, she was having a wonderful time and once he got over his mad and accepted her for what she is, he was cool with it.
As for the poems. Very playful, a fun read, and if the reader wants to look into them in more depth he will learn some thing about women.
Thanks for some great writing and when my eyes are not falling out of my head I intend to read more of your work.
Ted
Great poem!
I’m experimenting with poems that don’t necessarily rhyme, because I find that having to do that ends up with having to do a rhyming word search and eventually restricting your choice of words.
Never realized I have a fetish here.
Please see my story in which I explore this theme and I’d really like feedback!!!