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English
Different
But I liked it. Thanks. tom anon
WTF?
Really badly written and really stupid. Cuckolding is NOT erotic only jaded cuckolds and thier mistress get off on cuck stories.
Too much info, hard to read.
Had to keep re-reading your lines. Too much to follow, and it did nothing to advance the story/plot. A few hints at the condition of the hotel and area will paint a better idea in people's minds.
Keep working on your story.
rule #1
do not use ten words to say what only needs two
Throw away
your thesarus. If a one syllable word says it, use it. Your showing off did not enhance the read. In fact your writing made this topic even more repungnant than usual. In one word of one syllable, your writing stinks.
?
you are on your way to somewhere ? ? ?
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