Brother’s Deception

rushed

way to rushed and unrealistic slow down and build your plot and characters. this story should be twice as long to get to the same place. tell us why the dad got made and kicked out the brother tell us more about him more about the girl friend more about the sisters house where in the house the brother lives. this was a first draft that needs expanding on NOT A POSTABLE STORY.

Longer please!

I really liked your story but it would be greater if it's longer.

Ditto what previous commentator said in terms of developing characters more fully !

As a offbeat stroke story for fans of incest genre, this is ok. HOWEVER ! There was potential for more - this reminded me of the settup in bestseller ' Hotel New Hampshire ' by John Irving at first before the cliches kicked in. Maybe next time ( though probably not ) .

T i i na?

two i's in that name?

Grammar

Spelling and grammatical errors were a turn off.. nice story line though

The story is very erotic and sexy,

But it was hard to read with all of the mistakes.

I do like that he turned his sister to our side, but don't think that his cum in his girlfriends mouth would make her pregnant, but it is hot to read about, even though it is improbable.

Thanks for the read

I wouldn't bother listening to most of the commenters - compared to a lot of the chaff that gets posted on this site, this was actually pretty good. I would definitely work on getting an editor for your next story, if there is one. Keep up the good work!

Why not two i's

There is a canadian actress name is Liisa. And another from Finland. So why not a Tiina.

Awesomeness

Ignore what everyone else said. I LOVE this story. I actually hate when stories are drawn out with ridiculous plot ideas. I want the sexy details, not why the dad kicked the son out. Also, if anyone says this is impossible, it's a *story.* Who cares if it's possible or not? I read a story on here where the author said the guy had grapefruit sized balls. Complain about that, not this amazing story. There were some mistakes but still a very enjoyable story. One of my favorites from this website.

It's so possible

This was hot n sexy.... Ooo this is so possible I'm on baby #2

Very enjoyable!

A good tale.
I hope to see many more along this line.

The concept was interesting, but the description is lacking and the final reaction is extremely unrealistic.

"Brother's Deception:" - Josh and Lisa - (Brother and Sister)

Not that I have any bias against lesbians--there's a time and place for everything--and a good lezzie scene is accomodatingly steamy sometimes, but not in a brother and sister incestual situation.

Anyway, the fact that Josh and Lisa congealed, and after her first experience of her brother's consummation of their carnal and incestual affair Lisa found her station in life of loving her brother and them having beautiful children together. Absolutely awesome turn of events.

"Brother's Deception:" - Josh and Lisa - (Brother and Sister)

This is my second reading of the story within the past couple months; I love the story more so now than the first reading. I suppose it's akin to good wine, or fine cheese, or most lovely women...,they just get better and improve with age!!

Of course sister Lisa is to be idolized for taking in her twenty-year old brother, eight years younger than her, with his no-direction attitude, mooching off his beautiful, hard working sibling and, as of the ending of this story he still has not contributed much to their household family life, but two beautiful children and the third now "percolating" in his sister's womb!! Hopefully, they have many more beautiful babies!!

Lisa should put his ass to work in her company as the janitor (and threaten him with his life if he even thinks of touching another female!!). Of course, now with their third child due soon he can be a care-taker and be an at-home-father, taking care of their children. After all he's the one that wanted his sister to become pregnant to beigin with, so he should shoulder the duties of taking care of them!!

Hereiamto has written another fantastic, carnal blood-family incest story of beautiful proportions. It is awesomely contructed with magnificant themes; the plots are just as well presented!!! Though there are some small errors (insignificant!), the overall content and context of the story is solid and believeable! This reader extends my top accolades (I also awarded five (5) stars because of the pregnancies) to the writer; and I look eagerly and fondly for more of similar stories from this gifted writer!!

So possible.....

I shared a flat with my sister, a pretty girl, but a real man-hating, women's-rights spouting, tree-hugging, natural-fibre wearing, uptight, veggie cow, with a permanent miserable expression pasted on her face, but then she came home from some hippy, druggie party one night completely steamed, lurched into my room and begged me to fuck her, so I did. endlessly, night after night, day after day, and non-stop all over the weekends, in every position I could think of, in every room in the flat, and on the balcony while the old biddy across the way watched; I fucked her mouth, her pussy, and her arse, I must have filled her holes with pints of cum, and she fucking loved it, begged me for more, and never looked back; now I dress her in tube-tops and skin-tight jeans, or slutty little min-skirts and dental-floss thongs to show off her tight, bouncy arse and lovely big tits, and to give me easy access if I need to fuck her there and then. We're currently working overtime on cramming baby two inside that hot, steamy cunt of hers, when I'm not shoving my cock as hard as I can up her hot little arsehole.

So the chick has a hymen but the doctor doesn't notice it or conment on the fact when she says she's never had sex, give her some possible answers? The chick knows she has a hynen but thinks she must have been 'raped' to get pregnant, by who,a polite rapist? 'Wups! Theres a hymen! Guess I'll stop here and jack off!' ...and lastly another author who doesnt know where the hymen is located, as is obvious by the sad, pathetic sex scene with brother. Dammit, lazy authors! If you're going to write about something you've never seen at least go LOOK AT PICTURES so you can try and be an educated writer. Google has pictures. Bing has pictures. The hymen is right the fuck up front. You're not shoving a cock up in anywhere without going through it. Sigh.

I'm not sure what was more unreal, the sex scene or the fact that sister let the jobless bum just lay about without working, have parties in her house, etc, lol.
I'm not even going to rate this, ugh.

How to put a baby inside a mommy figure...

...without having to deal too much with all the icky realities of the actual female anatomy. Just get a straight-but-semi-gullible gal-pal to spit some semen inside while going down on the target. Yeah - that'll work.

Another strange and funny treatment of the madonna-whore conflicted imagination of someone who loved his mummy but found male "daddy bodies" much more sexy I guess. Clearly you find the idea of breeding women fascinating yet it's so necessary to knock them up by unbelievable means to avoid a direct relating to the female. I never imagined I'd read such attempts at portraying "virgin births" on Lit.

Keep on doing your thing, dude if it keeps you out of the nut house or jail is all I think.

Meh.

Too much fetish, not enough action.

Great Story

Ignore the hater(s). Someone clearly has an axe to grind and is reading his own agenda into your writing. This was a very hot idea and well-executed.

I liked it.

I liked the concept, but thought it was a bit brief. I'd like to see it fleshed out a little. But I really liked the idea. :)

Yep, much better

Yes, this story was much better than the last one I read A Sisters Lust for Brother where I only gave you 3 stars for that. Loved the concept you could have drawn out the characters a bit more and made the story a little longer but overall , good story 4 stars.

Family of Incest

Now brother and sister should not only fuck but he should stat fucking his daughter/nieces

Aparently the brother that didnt finish school wrote this story, he wasnt educated enough to know where the hymen is located, lol.

Ummmm

Wait so why'd he stop once they had their child?