A Slave to the Servants Ch. 29

Sad!

That chapter ending was so sad. I wonder if Jonathan will have a pull towards his mother and his father? I can't wait for more, I don't think I will ever get enough of this story. The day it ends will be the worst. More soon please!!!

Great chapters!!

sad to see this chapter end this way but.... excited to see how you move the plot, to the climax of your story and to see how you will close it out... Hopefully you will publish in a book as you are a very talented writer and should use your talent to make you some money... just saying as i will be first to pay for your books honest..... I can not wait for the next installment in this series. Keep on writing....

Wow

So different from raising daughters. Her son is still a child where Hanna and Kennedy were like miniature adults when they left. At least, being Evan's son, he will always retain a connection to her. I love this story.

I agree, so sad!

I was completely feeling her pain as she watched her boy fly away. She is very obviously not going to handle this well, come the next chapter. But then, who would? She had to watch her son be sold and taken away. And in the normal course of events, she'd never see him again. If you didn't hate this system before, this scene would be enough to change anyone's mind.

Muah!

I'm so HOOKED!!

Awesome chapter

This story takes me from one emotion to another. I was so sad when Jonathan was taken away. He is still a baby! And Aiden's reaction to Halil's death ... by the time I read the last sentence of the chapter I was trying to be strong for Ciara's sake!

DW you've really brought thhe characters of this story to life!

BRAVO!

BW, another great chapter, giving much depth to the greater paterian world

showing off your plot skills, and as always i love your smooth writing quality.
i did wonder how it wasnt possible to heal halil and letting aiden nearly starve. sad story of halil. the females are very caring. perhaps the rest of jon's bros are yet to be revealed in the future.
thanks BW :) .

Continuously Enraptured!

DW - it's been awhile since I've commented, but I hope that you knowing that I've loyally read every chapter as soon as it's posted & given you a well-deserved 5 stars, will make up for the lack!

I adore the uniqueness of each character & how you've given each of them their time in the spotlight. It has attributed immensely to character development. Subsequently, I am completely engrossed in this wonderful tale you are weaving!
It has all the "hot topics" to snare & keep the appetite of a voracious book worm like me, satiated! Heart warming, heart breaking, adventurous, humorous, romantic, erotic, sensual...so much more!

What an fabulous gift that the next chapter comes out in time for my birthday!!
Thank you, you fabulous vixen for sharing your story & for regularly posting!!
Kajia Veracious

i had so many emotions from this chapter!

first of all johnathon was so completely adorable, "mine, no yours!", that was so cute! "wan wim", and then aiden "wat wim?" that was just way to cute! and oh yes, their parting had me in tears. hannah and kennedy were ready and prepared to leave when they did, and they could come back for visits, but the boys, don't have that ability. this will be a true loss for ciara and the men. i wonder how they (especially evan) will take it? but the thing i want to mention MISS DW, is what tosu told ciara. what is this stuff about her being able to return to earth????? omg, it's always been the opposite and now suddenly she's being told that she can return? i wonder what she's going to do? is she going to tell the men? and if she does, what will they say and do? i doubt she'll leave now with all her ties to pateria, but still, she just might. omg, what a bombshell! the 21st better hurry up and get here!

I'm in tears ...

You have me completely. Love it so much. Not fair that you made me cry with such a heartbreaking separation. Want Hanna to go get him now.

Love this story. Always ready to find out what happens next.

Had the tissues ready..

Every time I read this chapter I blubber like a baby,sniff it is just so sad. I look forward to the next chapter which should be posted on my daughters BD. Now I am off to wash my face and try and regain some control over my emotions. Damn your good!!!!!

*sniffles and wipes my eyes* Awesome Chapter

*sniffs again* i think this is the hardest chapter for me, maybe its because i have a son and if i had to go through what Ciara just did i would be screaming bloody murder and not be able to function once Jonathan left...btw thanks for the wonderful birthday present in posting it today, it was a great gift..lol Keep up the excellent work hun.

Donna

In Awe!

You never fail to amaze me with your talent... absolutely stunning chapter.
Why you are not gracing the stores with your books is a mystery!

Amazing =)

Thanks for the wonderful chapter. 5 stars!

what sweet and sad chapter

excellent chapter looking forward to moore

Excellent chapter

This was a good chapter, moved the story along quite well, giving loads more information on how this society works.

As a mother who has raised her babies, sent them off to college, seen them transition into a fully independ adult life, meaning they didn't move back home after graduation :) I can feel the bitter sweet tug you describe so well. So happy they are developing well, in relationships that bring them peace and happiness, but missing that bundle of energy, fussiness and those all encompassing smiles that leave a mother with the contentment that all is right with the world.

This chapter made me realize something, an insignificant detail... Poor Rachel doesn't even have photos of her babies. Can you weave that into the next chapter with a baby?

AARRGH

You and your surprises!!! I enjoy this thoroughly, and look forward to the next one!!
Soon rather than later :)

Thank you for a terrific story!

I'm crying again, but the story is so well written. It is so hard to wait for the next chapter each time. After the last chapter, I reread everything. You could take out most of the sex stuff and still have a fantastic novel to market, if you wanted to. I do hope you sell it someday and get it printed. I would buy a copy. It's a gripping and thought-provoking story--and well written enough that a reader can lose themselves in the story. Thank you!

Fabulous as always!!

i cannot say it enough but i LOVE this story and the next chapter cant come quick enough :)

It's inconceivable that Ciara would leave her band of brothers and children.

Perhaps it's a choice she may one day face, but I cannot see her opting to abandon those she loves. Plus, she's a mother of the revolution that seems inevitable. Her family and children are not the only ones who need her. To be needed is a fair definition for the meaning of life, and not to be undervalued.

The story, in addition to being a delightful erotic work, has raised all kinds of issues about polyandry and the division of power between the sexes. I continue to enjoy every chapter, and am in no hurry to see it end.

Thank you, DW, for all the time, effort and talent you've poured into this wonderful saga.

GE

I cried a little at the end. Aiden and Jonathan was so cute! Ciara was right... it was too soon. Tosu did propose a good question, I wonder will she tell the men and I cannot wait for her answer--her reasons. Thank you for updating!!!

at a loss for words

I can't thank you enough for this gift that keeps on giving. A friend once told me that the true goal of life is to find your talent, whatever it is, and share it with the world. You are obviously one of the lucky ones that have discovered theirs.
As much as I enjoy coming to literotica to read your work, I hope you realize that the rest of the world deserves the chance to enjoy your talent. Like so many others that have commented on here, I would buy your book in an instant, even at the hardback first edition signed copy price.

-pk

my only complaint...

Is that I hate waiting! I am totally caught up in this story. I read the first 28 chapters in three days then had to wait a week for this one. It's going to be torture to wait for each chapter as it comes out! But I know pregnancy isn't easy, so I am so glad you're still writing, even if its coming out a little slower. I would definitely pay for your books, please consider contacting a publisher!

Now that I have dried my tears I can type now. This story is wonderful, sensual and emotional and I can't wait for the next chapter. This is one of the best works on this site and I long to see Rachel back with her family and free..I doubt she would choose to leave when her men and all her children need her. Jonathan will be looking for her just as Evan feels his female breeder.

Great chapter

xoxo
C.

I had tears in my eyes! I've been enjoying this story for a long time and always look forward to the next chapter. I hope that you are doing well, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment! :)

Babies on the Brain!

I have to wonder how you are doing yourself there?? I absolutely love the dichotomy that exists for the male and female offspring. I can see this as an X-rated version of Avatar someday. Bravo again!!

5 * x 10

If I could vote 10 times, that is. This story just keeps getting better and better. I've been checking every day since the last chapter came out, hoping and praying that the next one had arrived. Thank you, your emotive writings are very much appreciated. :)
Nchy

DW can’t see you leaving things as they are

I can see possible twists with this tale ;) with Jonathon being part human and offspring of Ciara and brother to Hannah and Kennedy, he could be head strong enough to cause trouble at the child keepers. Resulting in Ciara and family having to become involved in his and his brother’s upbringing! Or Damien, Evan and brothers creating such a stink, at this turn of events, that they demand to be involved in Jonathon upbringing :))

Don’t take any heed of this comment, this is just the ramblings of an emotional fan *sob, where’s the hankies*
Thanks for another excellent chapter.

i certainly hate crying unless im reading your work. i love where you going with the story even though this one seemed shorter than the others. still love it!!!

Well done...

This was a perfect chapter. You did an excellent job.

Every time

It feels like Christmas morning when I see a new chapter up! Well done, and as much as I am dreading the end, I can't wait to have the entire story before me so I can read it all again from beginning to end!!! Thanks for another great chapter, who cares if there's no sex, the plot is good enough without it :D

Wow...

...What a heart breaking chapter. You did a great job writing it. I am sitting here crying over how Rachel must be feeling. Can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work!

i loved it

I can't wait to have the entire story before me so I can read it all again from beginning to end!!! it almost had me crying but i can't wait for more. yay

Well, I finally stopped crying long enough to type. When Jonathan turns to her and asks about swimming with Daddy later - Oh, here come the tears again. And when she makes a point of committing everything about him to memory so she'll never forget her little boy. What about Evan? He understands better but never had a chance to say goodbye, nor did any of the others. I suppose they suspected but still. I hope the taste talent that Jonahon shares with Evan makes it impossible for him to be kept away. Poor Ciara/Rachel! How will she recover from watching her baby be sold and taken somewhere else to never see her again. That is so wrong. And he'll think she abandoned him. Oh I'm such a mess. I can't even imagine the sense of loss in their home. Maybe the pad used to send messages has some images of Jonathon on it.Thank you for preparing us for the sadness. It helped. You're brilliant and this story is one of the best I've ever read. Thank you.

So bittersweet

So beautifully written. There are so many emotions going on, and I love how you explore how this part of society works.

how could you leave it like this? was was fantastically written, very deep emotion which made it realistic. Update soon xx

Such a sad yet enlightening chapter

The end had me crying... In public no less, but anyways... I loved this chapter, just like all the others (with the exception of Ciara's lashes, but I understand). Didn't think the women had a hard time producing males, but it does seem understandable since they mainly reside on the equator while the women travel everywhere else. I do hope Jonathan finds Ciara's again and that Evan finds his mother too. If he can still sense her, surely she still lives. Can't wait to see what you post up next!

Not that them being near the equator is difficult nor the reason... I just meant that their population is less than the women.

Forgot to add that. :D

so..

so after you finish this story are you going to write about the kids adventures after they left her?

Wwonderful

Marvelous chapter as usual.Your writing is magnificent.

Love it!

Oh wow, this chapter was so wonderful. And having Jonathan ask if he and his brothers can go swimming with daddy later as they are being put on the transport was so emotional.
I would have loved to see more of the motherly bond with Aiden, she called them her boys.
It was so funny that first night with Jonathan, the men staying up to rock and walk him. Let me tell you from experience one of those mechanical swinging baby chairs... waaaay more important than a crib in the first couple of months.

Wonderful

I love your stories! I have re read them plenty of times while I wait for the next chapter. This one made me cry both times it's just so sad with halil and aiden , johnatan an the rest. I hope Evan christof and the brothers all find their moms . I wonder who could be tousu's baby boy and where he is now. Nu reh is honorable I hope she comes to realize the error of the system & her way of thinking about slavery . I wonder how aiden will sleep at night now. I wish they rebell and force thier owner to bring them back to ciara and the brothers to raise them. :( I wonder how the free boys are raised. Thank you for this beautiful story dear please keep writing about this world as long as you can . I am so addicted to them.you are incredibly talented writer. It's so wonderful to see the brothers love for Ciara grow and deepen every day. It's so beautiful to see how loving they are to thier children.ok let me stop now :) thank you again :)

Nicely done

This writing has me much more interested in the plot as opposed to the sex. I'm sure it will leave me disappointed wanting more at its conclusion. I'm looking forward to chapter 200!

Brilliant

You've created a 3 dimensional world full of brilliant details. Thanks so much for putting your genius imagination to print so that we mere humans can read and enjoy! I hope for many happy moons for Ciara/Rachel and her family

Staying on my mind as usual

The entire experience of little Jonathon was so much fun, until the sadness. Watching Evan bond was so touching. I think Rose can draw a print of Johnathon, besides any that might be on the pad. Rose is a wonderful artist.

Okay - is it March 21 yet?

This is so emotional!!!! The ending brings tears to my eyes!!!! I can't wait for the next one!

It's funny...

I've gotten so into the story, I don't miss the sex. Heck, I tend to forget it is supposed to be an erotic story. I just want to know what happens next! Thanks for a wonderful story, I'll be waiting with baited breath for the next installment.

You did it....

I'm not a crier, but you did it. You made me cry. Great job DW, an excellent chapter!

Thank you!!

It was a very heartwarming and emotional chapter. I absolutely love your story and I check for updates daily in anticipation. You are a very gifted writer. Thank you for all of your time and effort put into this story!