Anytime, Anywhere

A nice start.

It's a good beginning, but now the story has so much potential. I'd like to hear more.

more

Good, but just feels like the beginning

Great

can't wait for the next installment

pronouns

is it third person, or first person narration?

pick one, stick with it

third person

Anonymous (Mar 21) wrote asking whether it was written in third person or first person.

The only first person I could find was "Before I could answer she jumps up from her chair. " It seems the story is pretty clearly written in third person, with that error.

whats going to happen next

This is hot! I'd absolutely love to try it out!