The concept of this story seems interesting enough but the execution needs work. It is hard to keep up with the constant changing of the views, flashbacks and the writing. The writing needs work, it seems more like a script than a story. A little more detail and an editor would help.
English
Uhh
The concept of this story seems interesting enough but the execution needs work. It is hard to keep up with the constant changing of the views, flashbacks and the writing. The writing needs work, it seems more like a script than a story. A little more detail and an editor would help.
Don't give up though, you have real potential!
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