This could be a good story, except you used first person. I'm not the subject of the story. I don't want to be part of the story. For one thing, I'm a guy, so if you start talking about how beautiful I am, that doesn't get me going. You should rewrite the story and take me out of it.
English
Great story line...
Very well written. Eros at its best. Loved every word.
could be
This could be a good story, except you used first person. I'm not the subject of the story. I don't want to be part of the story. For one thing, I'm a guy, so if you start talking about how beautiful I am, that doesn't get me going. You should rewrite the story and take me out of it.
And I don't want to be daddys little slut.
Where's the rest?
I was gettin into it!
And...........
I liked the story & was starting to get into it and then.............. done?????????
Title says Ch. 01-02 and it was barely a prologue
I think this is more disappointment then criticism
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