by 69flowers
I loved it but editing needed.
And 1/2 way through the story you
accidentally called the sister
Megan & Michelle
Pick one....
This story is a good beginning for a longer story. I hope that you are planning to do at least another chapter (hopefully more) maybe to see what might happen between Mom and son and maybe sister. Keep on writing, mate.
You need to learn how to spell. Its breath, not breadth. But that's not a big deal, I liked the story and I hope it continues.
Oh would I love to get into these two hotties, more and more please and soon
great story. well written and great tease with the images of mom. going to read chapter two now.
Really erotic sex with brother and sister, and they both know that they want a good fucking when they get together. I seems as if they know what the other wants and are willing to give each other the best they can give. That's sweet.
Thanks for the good start.
Why did you change names from Michelle to Megan and then back to Michelle? Other then that I enjoyed it.
Very confusing; and no fucking--dick to pussy, nor pussy to dick. Hand jobs does not a geed porn story make.
Plus you're kinda confused yourself I think.. First the sister is called Michelle, then it's Megan, then it's Michelle again?
A proofreader would definitely help, like most stories here. Lay or laid instead of lie, triangles is not hyphenated, breath for breadth (as already noted) are some of the more significant grammar issues. The dialog could use some help. It is too formal and a bit clunky in places. The description of the sex is pretty good, though it could stand a little more indulgence. All in all, a decent effort.
I'm tired of most of the women characters, and some of the males, are sluts in these stories. An incest story should be one of a special connection between both parties.
Good story. Based on daughter's questions, I wonder if she wants a menage et trios with mother and son?
I like these two “fuck buddies”… and looking forward to getting beyond mom’s sexy, red, bikini !!