Unfulfilled? Not Anymore!

Very good!

This is very good! You should keep writing! You have a great writing style, so you should not limit your self to erotic stories only! :)

Love it

Love it. More please

Keep writing.

Keep Going!

Good Start.

*****

Nice first effort.

Five.

wow

Love it. Great first story. I can't want to read more from you!!

Well

Now you need to Follow-up and let us know how the Cinnamon Rolls were.
and what the Rest of their Week-End was like.

great start

Hope you continue this story. Keep writing!

On

Keep on keepin on baby. Love the story and your pen-name.

Omg loved it

Ok that was awesome.nayia. My bff is a freak. Love bri

Exquisite! You have a talent. Let your fingers do their random dance more often ...

don't you dare

Don't you dare stop writing, im soo hooked, I went for wanting to laugh to down right blushing at parts of this little story keep up the good work, your well on your way.

I Love it!

Baby, Momma is very proud! I am so glad to read your stories it reminds me of your writings in the past. I too blushed and I forgot you knew thos word..LOL..keep it up !
Your #1 Fan Fam...MOMMIE

Great start looking forward to reading more.

Thanks.

Thanks for all the positive responses. I enjoy writing but I tends to file them away and never really show them.

Although I've learned a valuable lesson not to share links on my facebook. Apparently my mother is watching *faints*. I must admit my mother complimenting me on my erotic musings is highly amusing!!!

That was cute!

I liked the chemistry between the two. The fact that he was not ashamed to pursue and have her was cute. This is definitely worth a sequel. The story could have gone into the nonconsent/reluctance category, but I totally get why you wouldn't want to put it there. Really great first try - I hope to read some more from you.

As a bit of constructive criticism, an editor from the Literotica editor's list will help with story flow. I find it incredibly useful to bounce my story off another set of eyes, so that the ideas flowing out my head, through my fingers and onto a document are being presented the way I want them to.

Good read & definitely worth taking your writing out of your journals and onto the site.

QMS

Keep it up

Enjoyed this very much...looking forward to more of your work including more of this couple. Thanks for sharing!

Anjel54

*grinning*

I LOVED this and I really hope to see more of this and other stories of yours! And it's a plus that your first comment came from your mom!

Really Good First Try

I really liked this story. It was a great first effort. I hope you write more. It was well written. Bravo. Very well done.

Very Hot story. Excellent first try. Keep going.

Online

Gives you more than you bargain for sometimes...Keep going!

I love Avant and this story!

Wonderful!

Mad hot one !!!

Just finished 2nd read through. Great and agree with the ladies who preceeded me.
A love story to be sure.

ok

Really liked this one. I want more.

Good story

I really enjoyed reading, I like that you have a pix
on your profile.

I like stories with pix better.

They are hotter to masturbates to.
I love your breast.

Steve