A good start will look for the next part
You need an editor
Some minor writing errors, but the beginnings of an interesting story.
Good Start.. Can't wait until the next chapter
A couple of flow issues, minor grammar and punctuation issues, but a good start to a promising series. If you need an editor, let me know.
I enjoyed this! Please write more :) Excellent beginning, hopeful-looking storyline...I'm hooked, and will be watching for the next page, certainly.
The story doesn´t has connclusion
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English
Good
A good start will look for the next part
You need an editor
Interesting Start
Some minor writing errors, but the beginnings of an interesting story.
Good Start.. Can't wait until the next chapter
Good Beginning
A couple of flow issues, minor grammar and punctuation issues, but a good start to a promising series. If you need an editor, let me know.
Promising!
I enjoyed this! Please write more :) Excellent beginning, hopeful-looking storyline...I'm hooked, and will be watching for the next page, certainly.
Incomplete
The story doesn´t has connclusion
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to What The Heart Doesn't Know or
More submissions by arisamorak.