Love in the Cross Hairs Ch. 04

That was boring as hell

what to say

Somewhere Peter needs to tell Carroll to take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. I agree though, that was a pretty boring episode.

Need More to make it work

Not quite up to your normally high standards. But I can't wait to find out more!

Come on!

Please, please finish the story! I for one did not find it boring. I would like you to tell the end even if it takes 10 more chapters. I need to know what the end is.

2 weeks?

its been a month and a half now. please hurry!

Please end this series

JUST AS IN FORREST GUMP

A story worth spending my time to read is going to ebb and flow through emotional turmoil. This was a fine chapter. If you maintained a constant screaming high the reader would burnout. Giving the synapse a break makes for a better read.

Do continue for us when you can. I mean, a good thing needs to have a happy ending!

wtf???

`You Need To Finish This Story...Why Have You Left It Hanging???

um where is the rest of it?

So frustrating when a story is not finished

???????

Please finish it! I really like the charactors and they deserve resolution!

Bite the Bullet !!

Get your head down and PROVE that you like your two great characters...

You don't want me to send the Girls around - do you ?? :-))

finish this please, we can all see you're posting new stories

Please finish this.

Ditto

I'll mirror what others have said- it is a shame to abandon such a promising story. It's your baby and you can do what you want, but many of us are disappointed that this was left hung out to dry.

What?

Your best story so far and not finished? I really got into this tale and you left everyone hanging...Oh! so cruel!

Author Malpractice

Are you kidding me? A four chapter story that just ends unfinished with no advance warning to the reader! I feel as if I have been callously exploited by an author who sought my attention and my emotional commitment and then forfeited his part of the contract. At a minimum you should have deleted the entire story if you had no intention of completing it. I will be very reluctant to read any more of your work.

After reading this trash, you actually want this lowlife to pollute Lit some more ??t

Where is your sense ? "1*" !

It is easy

to bitch about not finishing, how many of you have ever written anything half as long, half as good, posted it and accepted the judgement of your readers?

I do wish, if there was a multi-part story, there could be a way for the collective judgement of the readers that the story had been abandoned to be displayed so readers might not invest in the time or emotional attachment to the story/characters.

Write what you want and can, thanks for the effort.

name change?

Not a bad story, but just wonder how the mother's name changed halfway through this chapter (Aurora to Autumn)? A little better proofreading would help...otherwise, not too bad.

Split Peronality Disorder

Poor Laurie, her mother is not only delusional but has split personality disorder. Autumn says Laurie was a drug and sex addict and had to be institutionalized. I wonder what Aurora's assessment of Laurie will be. Carroll thinks she's a nine year old girl. Laurie was right, her father is so rich and powerful he can manipulate anybody into a corner and squeeze them out altogether. Look what he did to carvohi. He didn't like where this story was headed so he gave carvohi writer's block and actually stopped time. Three years later his little girl is still twenty-nine, never been married or has even given birth to a child. I imagine when Carroll and Aurora/ Autumn find the right man for Laurie after getting rid of Peter and the fetus they'll allow carvohi to finish the story. I wonder if this is one of those times where fiction becomes non fiction.

THE FATES SAY PETEY-POO IS JUST ABOUT TO TAKE OVER

and charge up all the hills and mountains in front of him, TK U MLJ LV NV

It's Been Three Years!

I understand writer's block, but all we really need at this point is some sort of an Epilog.

It seems pretty obvious where this is going, if you can't FINISH-finish it, just do an Epilog.

Other thoughts:

I don’t know why, now that she is pretty much recovered, he doesn’t let her explain, before something ELSE happens to cause more misunderstanding.

Well, it’s nice to know that her father has explained things, though that just makes it a little more confusing why he won’t let HER tell him. He now knows it won’t be some deep, dark secret.

.

Delete the story

If your not going to finish it, get it off the site. Feel I wasted my time.

Good God!

You left it here? What a disappointment! That's unfair to your readers.

WTF?

You just blew this story off?...damn!

Dumb

Why spend that much time on a story and never finish it, that takes a sick person. Me and I am sure a lot of other people think if you have the money you should go see SOMBODY!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!

Asshole.

One of my most favorite stories. Aching for the conclusion.

WTF

Damn, let hanging by another unfinshed story - what a pity

DO NOT READ THIS STORY AS IT'S UNFINISHED!

Assuming that you're alive and kicking, I have one word for you -Asshole.
If you have a valid excuse, then, my apologies.

so I revisited the rest of the chapters

after reading this one, and I'm happy to say that there's essentially zero probability that any of the bullshit Laurie's parents were spouting was/is the truth. Thank goodness. But now I'm left wondering what would happen next. I think I might prefer it that way though, because some of the things that Laurie had going through her head...well, they were thoroughly modern, politically acceptable, brainless nonsense, but other than that, they were terrible. *grin* The "full and equal partner" bullshit has ruined more than its fair share of lives. Helpmeet is a good, healthy concept, though, and well in keeping with Laurie's Catholic belief system.
Equality is a word that has a nice subconscious ring to it (despite the atrocious sound of the word itself..."cellar door" it most definitely is not) but, for the most part, that's all it has. Leaving that aside, equality in marriage is one of the most insidious, malignant, idiotic, destructive concepts that Western Civilization, for all its good elements, and they are numerous, has ever foisted upon mankind. Marriage is not equal. It is a partnership, without question, but there is a head, and there is a body. The head cannot function if it tries to be the body, and the body cannot adequately perform the functions of the head. If the head mistreats, neglects, or abuses the body, the body will die, and the head will soon follow. The same in the reverse. That is the nature of marriage, healthy, joyful marriage, at least. And, keep in mind, the head cannot stand without the body, can it? Hence why a husband needs his wife to lift him up. She is his helpmeet, the support that allows him to stand. And he is her shelter, her unyielding, ever-faithful, loving rock and comfort. Is one greater than the other? No, actually. But neither are they equal. The head is the head, and the body is the body. Neither can live without the other, and neither can perform the other's function, but neither is greater than the other. They are simply different parts of the whole. On this truth, all marriages are founded. If this truth is absent, the marriage is little more than cohabitation in dress-up clothes. As a young boy in his father's business suit is not a businessman, so a marriage without this foundation is not a marriage. Of course, I'm aware that not everyone agrees with me on that, or any of these, point(s) and I've gotten more than my share of death threats for sharing my views in places like this. But I share them anyway, because I believe they are the truth, and that they are important. I would love to see how this story continues, if you should ever choose to pick it back up again. For now, an easy five stars. I'd give you more if I could.
-Anubelore :-)

I Will Say It

What a steaming fucking crock of shit!!! You build a story up like this one, four
freakin chapters, and then you fucking KILL it before you come up with any kind
of reasonable ending?! You're not a writer, you're a fucking hack, and you should
be banned from Literotica for life.
Oh, and have a nice fucking day.

One Thing

Somewhere between chapters 3 and 4 Laura's mother's name changed from
Aurora to Autumn. What is up with that? Is that "writers' block" too?

Finish it

Good story, you've wrote many stories since chapter4 finish the story!