this one felt kinda rushed no real build up or room for things to grow
by
Anonymous04/17/12
I suppose a tree was in the way...
Started with an interesting story line, more detail before meeting sibling than in the part that almost contained intimacy. Instead, it just got rushed.
Indications that author could write well with some input from a teacher/editor.
Reader unwilling to give bad rating. Author did not earn good rating. Perhaps next time...
by
Anonymous04/17/12
well written but rushed.
Another page or half would have done it. No build up described. Buildup in erotica is foreplay! Tease the characters and you tease the reader.
Sorry that this one didn't do it for some of you. I wish that a few of you would leave names or ways to reach you so that we could communicate.
I wrote it in my head the way I wanted it to be. If it felt rushed to you, it didn't to me. While one person felt I needed a teacher or editor, with over 1100 stories sold to date, I can assure you I know what I'm doing. I don't know if you've sampled other works of mine - perhaps give them a try? If they all feel "rushed", then it's likely a matter of my style not suiting your needs. I don't like to use editors, they have their uses, but then I have to wait for them to go through it and I found when I did use them, it took too long. I understand its a volunteer basis (I have done it myself) so one cannot make demands on a person's time.
BTW, some stories I write are written for "quickies" and just for a little bit of fun.
I can assure you that I always try to give you folks a quality effort. I can't hit a home run every time, but I do keep swinging. There are more on the way, so if you liked this one or want to see what I can do next, keep watching.
I appreciate any well-thought out commentary. Thanks for your time
I enjoy your stories and this one is just fine! It takes imagination to write a story and not to much to knock one. Plus not even leave your name. GOT BALLS NOT!! Thanks.
Very interesting characters and I thought it was a nice story and I really hope there will be more to come for these characters in the future. Thanks for your time and effort.
by
Anonymous04/18/12
Wrong
Ok... Stepsister was brought up in Norway. Stockholm is in Sweden. My god! This is basic geography..
Anon - you caught me. My bad. Can you tell I failed geography? To be honest, I had revised the story from a shorter story and didn't catch the two geographical errors. The places in Chicago I checked, but ...
A lot of readers thought the story was too short, but I didn't. But you know what - with the error there and your comments, I decided to do something I haven't ever done before - a partial re-write.
I have expanded the story, not too much - I want it to be a cute, fun read - but perhaps the extra 400 words or so will help in your enjoyment.
When the revised edition is posted readers, I have asked for a new page and this one be eliminated. If you'd like to comment again, please feel free to do so. If you still dislike it, well, I tried. We all can grow a bit and I appreciate the opportunity.
I have seen a lot of silly complaints about stories but complaining about a geography mistake is simply over the top. This is a great story and I didn’t feel it was rushed at all. If this author was a baseball player he has a lot more hits than misses and regularly hits it out of the park. Anonymous comments aren’t worth all that much. Pretty sad to have to hide your identity because you have no balls.
Oops I read past your mistakes, had to do a re-read.
It's silly to nit pick at some stories, some writers would do well to use spell check.
I am glad that you didn't see fit to have a 9"-10" cock or larger in your story, writers that do are just trying to make up for what their story is lacking.
Good to see you back at your hot nasty best :) love the sotry and leaving the stockings on :) Should do a part 2 of wedding night or something. great characters
A recent comment on this story accused me of carelessness. True - this one had some blips and I copped to them and changed a few. Interesting though, how this person who had the gall to accuse me of carelessness and who, of course, is Anonymous - aren't they all? - couldn't even spell "Santa Claus" correctly. Or bother to use capital letters. I'm getting to the point where I will delete all negative and pointless comments immediately and especially those who hide behind the veil of "anonymous". It's pointless to call someone a hack and attacking them personally is not a critique - it's just plain being an asshole.
Tired of all the Anonymous negative comments made by sad assholes - I wonder if they have the guts to write their own stories ?
Sadly I am useless at story writing,but I DO admire those that CAN write and their courage to post those stories - far from critising their efforts,readers should encourage them,if only for the pleasure they give to us lesser mortals.
Keep writing BrettJ - ''pour encourager les autres'' - (pardon the crap French...)
by
Anonymous05/04/13
TYPICAL WRITER FOR THIS SITE
you say it sounded good in your head, that is the biggest problem writers here have they can't get what is in their head into the story. we are not in your head so you need to give us all the details like character development and background build up the plot with details and give it a proper end. you say you know what you are doing i say BULLSHIT you need a GOOD EDITOR just as bad as a first timer does.
WTF, folks it is just a story. Don't get all bent out of shape because of some minor errors. I loved it. Thank you for sharing it with us!
by
Anonymous04/02/14
not to shabby
I totally agree with Alaska, a story is a story, there were some mistakes, but what the hell! I really enjoyed it and is that not what the story was all about.
Look forward to more.
Thanks.
Handyman2
by
Anonymous05/02/16
i dont
have to read the story. without that i can tell u are a looser. who want two pussy at same time. and make the sister a bi
English
this one felt kinda rushed no real build up or room for things to grow
I suppose a tree was in the way...
Started with an interesting story line, more detail before meeting sibling than in the part that almost contained intimacy. Instead, it just got rushed.
Indications that author could write well with some input from a teacher/editor.
Reader unwilling to give bad rating. Author did not earn good rating. Perhaps next time...
well written but rushed.
Another page or half would have done it. No build up described. Buildup in erotica is foreplay! Tease the characters and you tease the reader.
from the author
Sorry that this one didn't do it for some of you. I wish that a few of you would leave names or ways to reach you so that we could communicate.
I wrote it in my head the way I wanted it to be. If it felt rushed to you, it didn't to me. While one person felt I needed a teacher or editor, with over 1100 stories sold to date, I can assure you I know what I'm doing. I don't know if you've sampled other works of mine - perhaps give them a try? If they all feel "rushed", then it's likely a matter of my style not suiting your needs. I don't like to use editors, they have their uses, but then I have to wait for them to go through it and I found when I did use them, it took too long. I understand its a volunteer basis (I have done it myself) so one cannot make demands on a person's time.
BTW, some stories I write are written for "quickies" and just for a little bit of fun.
I can assure you that I always try to give you folks a quality effort. I can't hit a home run every time, but I do keep swinging. There are more on the way, so if you liked this one or want to see what I can do next, keep watching.
I appreciate any well-thought out commentary. Thanks for your time
~~BrettJ
Sister
I enjoy your stories and this one is just fine! It takes imagination to write a story and not to much to knock one. Plus not even leave your name. GOT BALLS NOT!! Thanks.
Nice Job!
Very interesting characters and I thought it was a nice story and I really hope there will be more to come for these characters in the future. Thanks for your time and effort.
Wrong
Ok... Stepsister was brought up in Norway. Stockholm is in Sweden. My god! This is basic geography..
From the author - oops
Anon - you caught me. My bad. Can you tell I failed geography? To be honest, I had revised the story from a shorter story and didn't catch the two geographical errors. The places in Chicago I checked, but ...
A lot of readers thought the story was too short, but I didn't. But you know what - with the error there and your comments, I decided to do something I haven't ever done before - a partial re-write.
I have expanded the story, not too much - I want it to be a cute, fun read - but perhaps the extra 400 words or so will help in your enjoyment.
When the revised edition is posted readers, I have asked for a new page and this one be eliminated. If you'd like to comment again, please feel free to do so. If you still dislike it, well, I tried. We all can grow a bit and I appreciate the opportunity.
Thanks for reading, new stuff soon.
~~BrettJ
This ain't school
I have seen a lot of silly complaints about stories but complaining about a geography mistake is simply over the top. This is a great story and I didn’t feel it was rushed at all. If this author was a baseball player he has a lot more hits than misses and regularly hits it out of the park. Anonymous comments aren’t worth all that much. Pretty sad to have to hide your identity because you have no balls.
Great story
Oops I read past your mistakes, had to do a re-read.
It's silly to nit pick at some stories, some writers would do well to use spell check.
I am glad that you didn't see fit to have a 9"-10" cock or larger in your story, writers that do are just trying to make up for what their story is lacking.
Back at it
Good to see you back at your hot nasty best :) love the sotry and leaving the stockings on :) Should do a part 2 of wedding night or something. great characters
Speak up for yourself - from the author
A recent comment on this story accused me of carelessness. True - this one had some blips and I copped to them and changed a few. Interesting though, how this person who had the gall to accuse me of carelessness and who, of course, is Anonymous - aren't they all? - couldn't even spell "Santa Claus" correctly. Or bother to use capital letters. I'm getting to the point where I will delete all negative and pointless comments immediately and especially those who hide behind the veil of "anonymous". It's pointless to call someone a hack and attacking them personally is not a critique - it's just plain being an asshole.
WELL SAID !!
Just read your comments BrettJ...
Tired of all the Anonymous negative comments made by sad assholes - I wonder if they have the guts to write their own stories ?
Sadly I am useless at story writing,but I DO admire those that CAN write and their courage to post those stories - far from critising their efforts,readers should encourage them,if only for the pleasure they give to us lesser mortals.
Keep writing BrettJ - ''pour encourager les autres'' - (pardon the crap French...)
TYPICAL WRITER FOR THIS SITE
you say it sounded good in your head, that is the biggest problem writers here have they can't get what is in their head into the story. we are not in your head so you need to give us all the details like character development and background build up the plot with details and give it a proper end. you say you know what you are doing i say BULLSHIT you need a GOOD EDITOR just as bad as a first timer does.
Entertaining!
WTF, folks it is just a story. Don't get all bent out of shape because of some minor errors. I loved it. Thank you for sharing it with us!
not to shabby
I totally agree with Alaska, a story is a story, there were some mistakes, but what the hell! I really enjoyed it and is that not what the story was all about.
Look forward to more.
Thanks.
Handyman2
i dont
have to read the story. without that i can tell u are a looser. who want two pussy at same time. and make the sister a bi
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