Disregarding the run-on dialogue (one speaker per paragraph is the norm) and the dropped quotation marks, you express a pretty hot topic and almast make it seem un-hot. Work on your descriptions: heat it up a little. You put more detail into observing the othe restrooms at the bar then you did in describing her squirting.
English
A little tepid for such a hot topic
Disregarding the run-on dialogue (one speaker per paragraph is the norm) and the dropped quotation marks, you express a pretty hot topic and almast make it seem un-hot. Work on your descriptions: heat it up a little. You put more detail into observing the othe restrooms at the bar then you did in describing her squirting.
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