All Comments on 'Seducing the Neighbor Girl'

by Midday_Crisis

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  • 40 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Ohhhhhh Boy...

Not a bad start...flowed well. some grammatical errors. Don't worry about it. Hope to read a part two.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Good story

Thanks for this enjoyable story, hope to read more mature tales.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
encouragement

Developing well. The age difference doesn't really fit "older-younger" (Paige should be about 15 or 16) but his ex-nerd status works well. "Dear in the headlights" would make a nice visual pun but I think in this case it's a typo. Looking for more.

Midday_CrisisMidday_Crisisalmost 12 years agoAuthor
There is more to come

Chapter two is already "pending". Should be posting in a couple of days. Chapter 3 is not far behind. As for it's Mature category, I published it under Erotic Couplings, the moderators pushed it into Mature.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Very Interesting Start

I agree the age difference you are working on successfully overcoming. Looking forward to your future chapters of experience for the Coach and the Student.

Baloney_PonyBaloney_Ponyalmost 12 years ago
Loved the beginning of what I hope is a full series.

Really good job! Very good story over all. Nice pace and interesting premise. I will take a moment to point out to an earlier comment: the moderators here will gank your story if your characters are minors. Eighteen is the rule of thumb when it comes to minimum ages. Even though many (if not most) people are sexually active before then, I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry, from the mods point of view.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Lucky S.O.B!

Just let me know if Mr.D. can't ever make it, you can surely call on me lol. Great start to what is going to be a great series I hope.Ciao.

Paxo1944Paxo1944almost 12 years ago
Great Begining

Loved the start, the middle and the end was the best. Sincerely hope there is more to come of Paul and Paige. Brilliant please keep it going.

GingerVyeGingerVyealmost 12 years ago
pacing

I truly enjoy the slow pace, and that they are building a friendship first. this makes it much sexier

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
MORE

Please post chapter 2 soon. this is a great read.

wrc264wrc264almost 12 years ago
More please

Great start to a story sequence. let me know when the continuation comes out.

Ron

aslan72aslan72almost 12 years ago
Don't leave me hanging!!

Great job so far. I liked the pace of it and the frustations that were placed well. It is good to see that it was not a "wham bam thank you" story. I can't wait to read chapter 2 & 3. If daughter looks that good what does mum look like??

Keep up the great writting

BillyBobJoeEdBillyBobJoeEdalmost 12 years ago
More please!

I like where this is going. Please keep adding to this story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Great story, but.........

I really like this story. It's a very enjoyable read, but unless you are setting Brad and Heidi up for a spin off in a different category, the part about Heidi being a big fan of receiving fellatio has to be a mistake. I'm not trying to be a nit picker. Your story portrays your characters and scenes in a believable manner. That is the reason I was momentarily startled by the mistake. Oh well, good thing that it's just a story. I do hope you post a sequel, I'd like to see where you take Paul and Paige.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Great Story

He is only 7 years older. That age difference isn't unusual among couples. Could just as easy be "romance". Look forward to the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Ohhh

Am sooooo wet

indianfireindianfirealmost 12 years ago
Good story

please write another chapter :)

Sailor61Sailor61almost 12 years ago

Both of your stories are very well written and very good. I look forward to reading many more

blackduchessblackduchessalmost 12 years ago
I love it

and the way Paul and Paige's relationship progressed. There's more to it than just lust, which to me is the best part. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Dragonflyer90Dragonflyer90almost 12 years ago
Great start

This is a great start to what I am sure will be a great series.

jp51552jp51552almost 12 years ago
Great read

Just the right mix of story, su

ggestion and action.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Rare find

I loved the humour. First time I ever found porn with good humour. Awesome read :)

KristaMoraneKristaMoranealmost 12 years ago
breathless

Wow, great story! Very delightful and sexy.

auhunter04auhunter04over 11 years ago
saw your note

professional newspaper editors read the first time backwards...catches a lot of stuff!!

SilmarillionSilmarillionover 11 years ago
Beginning of a good read

always carries the reader along on a journey they care to travel. This chapter carried and hooked me into wanting to complete the series. Well done, I should say, and thanks for the joyful trip. The humor of the interaction between Paige & Paul is delightful, as is some of the drama of jealousy shown by Paige toward Reba, as well as by Reba toward her unknown competition.

I am sure others have said this as well, just make sure you proofread so the few spelling and grammar mistakes are corrected. You can use the available checkers on MS Word or any other commercial (or free) word processing program. There were a few, but they did not detract from the overall pleasure of reading the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Huh?

On Page 2, you write "...she was a big fan of receiving fellatio but not giving..."

Fellatio is oral sex upon a man's penis. Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on a female's genitals. So unless she's transgender, you really should correct your error. Try changing "fellatio" to "oral sex" and you'll be fine.

Privates1stClassPrivates1stClassover 10 years ago
Hot story

You've got me hooked. I need to read the remaining chapters to learn where this series goes. Thanks.

MajorRewriteMajorRewriteover 9 years ago
Awesome stuff

Light, fun, and even romantic.

maddictmaddictabout 9 years ago
Preposterous, Two shotguns ?

I thought this story to be so wrong, who tells girls they can't use my pool, the same guy who yells get of my lawn. You have redeemed yourself by not having little ms. P's parents over. Still I would of led Reba onfor a while longer, she was willing fwb. Any time her tonsils are on your shaft, well that's talent you don't lightly discard. Ishould of read this straight thru I surly would have more thoughts to share wanted or not.

Thanks, for a nice story. Next time I will know how to date a teen idol.

A fin star by the way, *~* ?

maddictmaddictabout 9 years ago

"O" I need a pool contractor.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
DELIGHTFUL!

I felt like I was watching a rom-com novel. I love this story and I hope you update soon! <3

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Characters, especially Paige, don't ring true. I found myself skimming.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
liked it

super story

DOC226DOC226over 7 years ago
Who is Seducing Whom?

Just like in high school, it sounds like she is calling all the shots, only this time you will "get lucky".

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
WOW!

Can't wait for the sequel!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago

Well written story! I think you might have mistitled it...should be "Seduced by the neighbour girl".

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Hmm

In this day and age I would guess your style could be called a bit chauvinistic but I enjoyed the read - found myself preferring to have your neighbor being older than written but then again I personally tend to go for the more mature woman (coz I am an old fart ? ) Nice read, nice to know you don't have a 19 inch flag pole to base your ego upon.

maddictmaddictabout 4 years ago

Terrible just terrible that you would take advantage(finally).

It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

Good premise.

But sex is all so automatic. So mechanical. So over immediately after it began.

Needs to take it much more slowly. Many more details.

Three stars.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Toxic and gross. Pass.

Anonymous
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