Kat Takes and Gives a Ride

why?

i hate how most stories on this site these days is wham bam thank you ma'am one pagers. there is no build up and the story is sporadic and sloppy at best.

Great Story

Loved the long slow build up and the fast hot finish. Just a really great story. Thanks.

rushed

should have been spread out over two or three long pages instead one short page. either do a rewrite adding more detail and build the plot or add a second chapter but don't leave it like this.

Rosspal; Thank you for your positive comments.

To my anonymous critics; your comments are appreciated as well, I am sorry if my story disappointed you. This was actually my first attempt at a story, it took 6 tried to get it accepted. I am still learning my writing style, be patient.

* * * *

I was quiet pleased with this story
for a second submission you did
just fine.

Realistic but a bit on the short side.

Loved ..

I really liked your story and looking forward to more from you (and I would even read a 2 or 3 pager from you).!! lol
You keep it up and you will get better and better and just might end up being one of the best writers on here.!*
Thank you for being you.*

Replies to all

MrLurker, thank you for the feedback, I am working on more stories and will try my best to improve my style.

Anonymous new post, thank you very much, I try.

Nice story

I liked your story very much!
As somebody said before you could "have been spread out over two or three long pages instead one short page", but from myself, this is not a critic. It's just a comment and a sugestion for further stories.
I'd like to continue reading about their new life, envolving their mother, friends and all that things, which complicate all inscestuous relationships...
Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your criativity with us :-)

Short and sweet

Great to see a short story for a change that makes sense and is a good read,

Nice.

Thank you for no enormous rods and freakish bulges.
A sweet simple story which made me wish a few things.

Fantastic!

I love how this was written. I hate when an author incorporates unusually large cocks or tits. I like the fact that this story focused on their feelings and not organ size.

not real good

way to rushed wheres the background? wheres the character development? wheres the plot? wheres the end? as said by others this should have been three longer pages not just one SHORT rushed page. i suggest you delete this story and rewrite it adding the needed background, character development and plot plus either a good end or a second chapter. if you had used a good editor they would have hopfully pointed this out to you. read the how to articles before posting anything else.