All Comments on 'Submission'

Good start to a story. I hope there will be more.

This is a great start. You are so right. Those stupid ignorant Rebipans will destroy everything good and right if left to their own delusions. BTW, you switched tenses for about two paragraphs. Kind of hoping that'll be fixed in next chapters.

Glad to see you are back. I enjoy your stories.

Omg this is amazing. I hope you continue, as im hooked :)

Always pleased to see your stories :)

It's so good to see you back. You have such an evil mind. I love all your stories except the gay male ones.

I noticed you have up to 12 chapters on this story, so I guess I'm a bit late. I realy enjoyed the story and at first thought it would be a turn off being it semi-scifi but that did not take away from the experience at all. I like the change in tenses because you are able to see both sides to the story, the Repiban and the Demagons point of view. I can't wait to read the rest of you stories :)

I had read a couple of parts earlier, but I can tell from this that I'll enjoy reading the whole series. Magnifico!

It's a nice story, but I hate third person :( I'm still gonna read the entire series lol

I abserlutely love it already, i aspecially like the SIFI story line.... and just everything about it so far... im defferenlt looking forward to continueing :)

x

It really throws me off when going from past tense to present tense, and you even go back to past tense again. Choose, and stick with it. Are you writing about something that happened in the past, the most used way of writing, or are you writing about something that is happening right now?

This is where it changes the first time:

"The expression on his face didn't turn to disgust or distaste like Curtis. Instead his presence quiets and he focuses on her" From "didn't" (past tense) to "quiets and focuses" in present.

I do agree that the change from past to present tense is difficult to read. I like the idea and the characters so far.

Perfect men out there?

?!

Submission ch. 2 to ch.18...

Until the woman is able to freely give consent it can’t and shouldn’t be categorised as BDSM. That’s just a technical point but an essential one in real life.

This is NOT BDSM. Consent is not freely given. BDSM relationships are about consent and respecting boundaries.

It is not only chapter 1 that is NOT BDSM. It extends to the entire series (up to Chapter 18). Can you seriously consider in Chapter 18 that Alanna is able to consent freely to enter into a relationship with David who owns her? It is unfortunate that the public concept of BDSM is so badly tainted by The Fifty Shades of Grey, which unfortunately in my opinion somehow managed to link hot sex with pain and coercion and then link that to a “normal BDSM” relationship. ( I cannot imagine for one moment it is possible for an unwilling participant.)