All Comments on 'Draining Daddy'

I didn't get past the first few paragraphs. The angry racist tirade did nothing to arouse my interest or my lust.

Far too much narrative instead of dialogue. I didn't check for punctuation and grammar; I'll leave that to the anony mice whom delight in such things. The story line was alright and it was nice to see someone get their ass kicked. I think more descriptive attention should be given to sex and the major characters in the story. Good try.

RS

How I want to seduce my dad just like in this sexy story. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail,com

DITTO ~~ with SmallTitFan.!

One, grammar sucks

Two, narrative moves too quickly and lacks concision.

Three, agree with other critic: Needs a lot more dialogue.

Four, BBC sequence was trite, stereotypical, racist, and (worst part of critique) contrived.

I love fucking black guys (hell, I love fucking ANY guys) and my husband likes to watch, so this did nothing for me.

...I followed the pace that seemed to flow naturally. If it doesn't please everyone, well, there's not much that can be done about that. I still think that it was one of my better stories. As for dialogue, this was one of those "little less talk and a lot more action" tales where I didn't include meaningless chatter. Conversation only takes place where it is logical or warranted. Some stories have more talk, some less.

Thanks to those who appreciate the story on its merits as an incest story that deliberately included some satire and mockery of the whole "wimp" theme by turning it on its head. I had fun writing that twist to the story. Not sure where the grammar critique makes sense, given that I followed the rules pretty darn well overall.

In general, I enjoyed writing this tale, though I respect that it might not appeal to some with certain kinks. You can't please everyone, that's for sure.

Yes, I fast-forwarded it a little because there was meant to be some time between the incident where Dan caught Beth with Lamar and the others (thanks in no small part to Dora) and the actual seduction. I would think that the realism of using booze to overcome his inhibitions (since not every Dad is just going to jump in bed with his daughter while stone cold sober) would add something to the tale. It's also a rarity among my stories in that the Dad and daughter practice monogamy (most of my stories have a strong poly trend).

It's really, leaving aside the intentional inversion of the cuckold stereotypes by a different outcome (where the man stands up and refuses to be a cuckold), a love story between father and daughter. Not to mention that Dora is a very strong female character, IMHO. Far stronger than the supposedly "Domme" Beth, when it comes down to the real test of mettle. She's that strong without being dominant, which is a nice angle in my view.

That being said, I understand that some are disappointed that I don't incorporate my usual amount of dialogue. I respect their opinion. I honestly hold a different view, that it wouldn't have been anything but filler in this particular case. I don't dismiss your views as lightly as those who simply dislike the fact that Dan and Dora put a stop to Lamar's and Beth's conspiracy. No doubt there are those who would root for Beth and Lamar, but one can count me out of that.

I'm an anarchist and respect the right to live according to your own wishes, but personally, the injustices of the double standard (she can screw around, he can't) inherent in cuckoldry are the real turn-off. Those of who you freely practice it have that right, but, of course, Lamar and Beth weren't content with getting Dan's permission. They wanted to coerce him, which made it a much more serious matter. That's the difference between voluntary cuckoldry and petty tyranny, and I naturally made sure that Beth paid a karmic price for disrespecting Dan's right to refuse (namely that her lack of consent was ultimately ignored).

So, yes, I plead guilty of playing to every stereotype, including the reverse racism that indeed exists among some Bulls and "hot wives". It was meant to set up the villains for the fall, to make them far less likeable and without many redeeming qualities. Most villains have such redeeming traits, but not all human beings are redeemable at all in reality, so some people are real sociopaths, such as Lamar. Others, like Beth, have borderline personality disorder, which carries a certain narcissism and lack of empathy with it.

In the end, of course, there was only one fate which could free Beth from her misery and she took that path, regaining some dignity at last. It was best for everyone involved in that story, including Beth herself.

There, I said my piece. Make what you will of it. Thanks for reading and for the opinions, even when I don't share them.

To quote Voltaire, "I disagree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

Under the auspices of the Muse,

Severus Maximus aka Severusmax

What would Archie Bunker say?

There was a time where you could make fun of stereotypes and laugh. Archie Bunker was the biggest stereotype on tv. And the show, All In The Family, made sure we saw how rediculous bigotry is by using stereotypes. Servus has illustrated how rediculous forced cuckold really is. At first, I was offended, but I kept reading and saw what he was doing. Well done, my friend, well done!

From the time she got her dad undressed till the time they fucked, my rod was rock hard. Excellent!! I hope you write more!

Very good rebuttal, I stand in appreciation of such said things. In deed I did not take into account the message you conveyed. I will like to read more of this tale if you choose to write.

RS

There got to be more, in the morning after the afterglow of her love and his lust. The set up was more than something that she had planned and will the father want more now that he has tasted the forbidden fruit of incest.

The telling was weak. What was the rush?

I have to go completely the other direction with this. The plot had me laughing too hard to become aroused.

A gang of firefighters pre-meditate assault with deadly weapons and everything just works out okay? Not likely. The daughter was far too eager to take her mother's place and the dialogue was iffy. The wife suddenly having a change of heart about her gang bang pushed the limits of plausibility as well. I can't believe a woman would organize a gang bang if she wasn't absolutely sure she wanted to follow it through.

On the plus side, except for a few instances of over-the-top phrasing, I thought the story was well written. This could have been great if you had worked a little more plausibility into the plot.

Shut the fuck up, Don't lke it right your own. While alot of comments are constructive and helpful afew were just rude and had no point other then to be a waste of time. Your story was good, please continue and let no one tell you otherwise.

Nice story but could have been longer

meh.

It's almost juvenile in it's simplicity and dealing with some obviously naive and bigoted views. I probably got about half way through the story where the "ladder crew" gang have all beat up the group of young black men (I'm assuming) who were "running a train" on the wife before it turned into rape and assault.

Work on your writing.

The whore Beth couldn't handle the heat and took a cowards way out.

Lucky Daddy to have such a thoughtful, but sexy daughter.....