by underbar
A great read! I'd love to see more of this, maybe from the other four girl's perspectives?
Only a few spelling mistakes, but otherwise, great work! Keep it up!
Your grammar and syntax are atrocious. Get a friend to proof read the story before you submit it.
I couldn't make it past the first few paragraphs. Your grammar is awful. There is a difference between "there", "their", and "they're".
You need to keep this story going. Would be good to involve strapon fucking and foot worship in there.