- All
Comments (64) More Comments (64 total): Page: 1 2
- Add a
Comment
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
Great, ALMOST
Great story. The only things that make this a two instead of a five is a few editorial errors and a LOT (as in too many and distracting) of editing errors. Good stories are doomed without editing / proof reading.
Seriously quit!
Seriously you need to quit writing! You are pathetic and wasting space for real writers!
Hey everyone
Soon as oldfaggot51 figure out what word is, maybe we can read one of his stories.
Confusing
you mixed up the story so bad its hard to understand it, also you need an editor
Not all bad
Although I didn't like your style on this story, you have some that are great. Like the first 4 in your story list for example. Don't stop writing, but remember to keep them well explained so us old guys can understand them.
Fantastic revenge story that could've gone further
I enjoyed the content but your definitely going to benefit with a good editor. Your story was totally enjoyable reading. Please write more!!! Thank you!!!!!
Damn
Interesting tale. Gives new meaning to the phrase, "I am my fathers son."
HA Ha ha
One can only hope that you fix jets better than you write
When did the military lower the IQ standards? For example, you write.."When I walked into the court house, I saw the woman that I once call mom with her head down in on her lap asleep." Ok, was she a contortionist or was her head separated from her body? These are the only two reasons that I can come up with to explain how this woman can have her head in her lap. It is sentences such as this one which make this story unreadable. This is the second story of yours which I have read today. I gave you the benefit of doubt that maybe you had a poor editor. No, it is just a poor writing style. If you plan on writing anymore please get an editor.
Almost
The lack of quotation marks, very bad punctuation, piss-poor spelling and it's still an interesting story line even though it's damn hard to make sense of it. Please pay more attention to what you've written.
Well
"You use" quote "marks" in the "most fuck"ed up wa"y"s imaginabl"e"...
Learn some goddamned English, you Nea"ander"thal!
Umm...
The writing is terrible...but the stories are good? If you are still writing i would say find an editor?
What Did He Say?
Uh, damn, what, eh, oh well. Maybe someone else can figure out this (authors) writing.
I liked the story but it was dragged, beaten and mugged by lack of/incorrect use of punctuation, missing words, incorrect words, unfinished words.... ad nauseam.
IE; "Why would I want a whore that fuck my a bastard like back?"
Just one of an endless supply of horrible sentences.
Just My Opinion, YMMV
Morgan DeWolfe
Impossible . . .
. . . to read and absolutely convoluted. Please proof-read your stuff before you publish. It was just ridiculous. It was so poorly written, I was laughing half the time at how really dumb it was. Proof-read, proof-read, proof-read, and then let someone else read it again. And the plot!!!! Holy smokes, it was one of the nuttiest I've ever read. Were you on drugs when you wrote it?
@morgandewolfe . . .
. . . I'm with you, baby!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to My Dad's Dad or
More submissions by Huedogg2.