Marking Time

The New Jamacan Vonnegut ?

I liked the dialogue , the time tripping . The ending was ' surprisingly conventional ' . It was the logical ending to a story told in anything but a linear mode. It was probably a savvy move by the author to cut things short before hopscotching back & forth thru memorable moments got too indulgent.

I agree with slamm. This was neat and clever

and I'm going to give it a 5. keep writing, thanks.

A WORST BEST KEPT SECRET

now who is the stalkers or reapers. TK U MLJ LV NV

Oh Yeah

Time they paid the piper.

OH YEAH

A WASTE

BUNNY TALK SQUARED

I voted this story 5 only because he is not clueless anymore.

Isn't it sometimes reality that your best friend stabs you in the back? Well I'm hoping for chapter 2 where George kills his unfaithful wife and his friend.

Oh and please get rid of that Jamaican talk. I cannot understand it and it wastes so much of my flippin time trying to discipher what they are saying. Suffice it to say though: They are caught and George is the Man!!!

It is a good topic

Hard to read and keep whose perspective is whose. I don't see how the ex-husband actually determines it's 'his wife' in the back of the house...that seemed to be a leap that wasn't foreshadowed in the story. I do think you did a great job capturing the emotions of the characters. Thanks for the read

style

i enjoyed the style; so different from a linear view. easy to follow since you broke up the points of view quite distinctly. the patois is a nice touch, and not difficult to read at all.

great job.

A fascinating tale.

As a Scot, I appreciate your use of your own dialect in the dialogue. Brave girl. Well done!

I like*****

The way you write Thanks for sharing.