All Comments on 'Marking Time'

I liked the dialogue , the time tripping . The ending was ' surprisingly conventional ' . It was the logical ending to a story told in anything but a linear mode. It was probably a savvy move by the author to cut things short before hopscotching back & forth thru memorable moments got too indulgent.

and I'm going to give it a 5. keep writing, thanks.

now who is the stalkers or reapers. TK U MLJ LV NV

Time they paid the piper.

OH YEAH

BUNNY TALK SQUARED

I voted this story 5 only because he is not clueless anymore.

Isn't it sometimes reality that your best friend stabs you in the back? Well I'm hoping for chapter 2 where George kills his unfaithful wife and his friend.

Oh and please get rid of that Jamaican talk. I cannot understand it and it wastes so much of my flippin time trying to discipher what they are saying. Suffice it to say though: They are caught and George is the Man!!!

Hard to read and keep whose perspective is whose. I don't see how the ex-husband actually determines it's 'his wife' in the back of the house...that seemed to be a leap that wasn't foreshadowed in the story. I do think you did a great job capturing the emotions of the characters. Thanks for the read

i enjoyed the style; so different from a linear view. easy to follow since you broke up the points of view quite distinctly. the patois is a nice touch, and not difficult to read at all.

great job.

As a Scot, I appreciate your use of your own dialect in the dialogue. Brave girl. Well done!

The way you write Thanks for sharing.

A story. Fell asleep somewhere in the middle.

Honestly, it amazes me that people are still reading these stories. In truth, here I was experimenting with telling a basic story from the perspective of each person who was involved and allowing the story to unfold because although each one saw something (s)he would not have seen the exact things that anyone else saw. I had received criticism that I had switched perspectives in one of my stories, and while I was mindful of that, I was also working out how to tell a story in a way that would challenge my readers' intelligence. I have seen this technique used since in a movie called Vantage Point and some of the other comments have advised me that it has been used in other stories elsewhere. So, I am sorry if it put you to sleep, but I was in a learning mode here. - Cinner