All Comments on 'Last Mission Ch. 04'

The story is interesting so far. I liked the twist, and I am curious to find out who is the actual target. It's tough to pull off a double-double-cross, but you are making it work. The torture in this chapter was a little brutal for my taste, but it was not out character for the story. Organized criminals would be that brutal. For me, the bigger problem is spelling and other typos. You are not giving us your best work--it is held back by preventable misspellings and grammatical errors. I suggest that you visit the Editor's Forum on the Lit. Forum and obtain the services of a volunteer editor. Good luck, and I look forward to the reading the remaining chapters.

The best stories have tension peaks through out. Some gripping, some just raising and eyebrow. The last few chapters haven't really moved the tension bar that much. You've got a stoy here that could send a heart racing, but the short chapters don't allow the plot to thicken, to build and then release.

Rereading what I wrote above.. Same advice for men everywhere, take your time, cover lots of ground, allow the tension to build and release, build and release, build and release.... ;)

Chapters. Thanks for sharing.