All Comments on 'Checked Out'

Grammatical and punctual errors, but otherwise a pretty good basis for a story. Well written.

The premise is unique, I liked it. A small continuity issue: "He spoke again, "follow me." Together they walked up to the front counter, Chris enjoying the view from behind." How can he watch her from behind if she is following him?

"Grammatical and punctual errors ..."

NO!!

"Grammatical and punctuation errors ..." - maybe!

Possibly even "Grammatical and punctuational errors ..."!

If you are going to critcise others, make sure your own efforts are above reproach!!

If necessary use a dictionary!

Did YOU even read this before submitting it??? Spell-checkers can't pick up most of your errors, but it HURTS to read so many mistakes!! Find and follow the basics for writing conversations....please!!!

Sara sure gave in quickly, but convincingly, so we hope Chris will take full advantage and coax the "shy" librarian into coming out of her shell!! LOL

Keep up the writing!!

Why are you people looking for errors in spelling? If you're busy looking for mistakes you obviously don't understand the purpose of dirty stories.