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This could be great, but if you can't proof your own work, you really need an editor to help you. Trying to decipher your intent distracts from your story. Keep trying though!
Development
I think this has the bones of a good story but other than the obvious grammar issues I think you should try to develop your characters a little more.
Love It
character development or background Bio on john and Katrina is somewhat needed. However, it is a very good story with great potential.
Please do not tell he will become her John;)
Keep up the good work
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