Born to Love

Great start.

Very good start, I hope to read the next chapter soon.

Excellent start

But I nearly marked this story down because it was so short. Wanna build a following? Then give your readers something to follow. As lovely as this beginning was, it reads more like a synopsis than a complete chapter/story.

probably is a good start

But it is to short for my liking was just getting into it then the end, bah!!!!

WTF

That's it? WTF

I have to agree it was a bit too short. Started to build us up and then bang it's over. However I did like it and would like to read what you write in the future. Please don't keep us waiting too long.

Please do not be discouraged by some of the comments! It is well written and I'm sure that the next installment will be worth waiting for.

Beautiful!

Yes, the story is short, really an introduction or preface to a longer story.

However, if the quality of writing is continued on to other chapters, you will have a wonderful story.

Thanks for submitting it.

Good Start

Yes, a good start - a good evocation of Rachel's attraction to her brother, and her confusion about the attraction. Keep it going, please, but give us more story meat - just as that stew needs more than veggies to be tasty.

Like your style

I like your style and the introduction to what I hope is a steamy love affair between siblings. Keep them loving and 'cumming'.

so-so

this was very rushed and poorly written a lot of misspelled words etc. no real background either. slow down this isn't a race flesh out your characters better and build more plot. try reading some of the how to articles here and use one of the free editors to help make it better and more readable.

Good Start

I thought it was a great starting story, don't forget to put in details, can't wait to read the rest, I would like to see her pregnant, but that's my kink. lol

michael should end up getting her pregnant and them having to start their own life elsewhere in my opinion!

Need Editor

The story is good, but it gets lost in the numerous editing issues. You don't use the possessive properly, among other things. These problems hurt the story line. With an editor's help, your stories will definitely improve. Keep writing!!

i love it so far. keep on writing more

imaginkping hapoily

As I stepped into the shower I let the water wash over me imaginkping that Michael was there with me washing my body, almost as if he were telling me that my feelings were OK.
I want us to live hapoily ever after but I know that's not possible and that all I will ever be to him is his baby sister.

wasn't sure at first who "I" was...

until you get several paragraphs into it, i thought "I" was male, and this was gay incest... might want to clarify some of that early on.

Great

I want to read more about this story. Because when you stopped at the end it just made me want to read more. Don't listen to anyone because you put "I" I figured out that this was female right a way...I love this story, please inform me when the next chapter comes out...I want to read more

The Key

The key to any story is the narrative...the story itself. And, you seem to have a sense of narrative!

Still, many things can get in the way. You need to learn what a paragraph is. Changing streams in the middle of a paragraph leaves the reader wandering...

Episodes that are shorter than a couple of pages often get low marks from Literotica readers.

However, your sense of narrative suggests that you could become a powerful writer. Readers (including me) want to encourage you to write more. I hope you will interpret this as meaning it is worth the effort to work to improve your latent talent.

To the first anonymous....

These are not professional writers here, they are common everyday people who put their thoughts down and share them with us. If you want professional writing, go to a bookstore. This is a free site so stop bitching and complaining at every little typo!!!

Good Beginning

Good beginnings have a way of hooking you in...and this story definitely did that...I'll be back for the next installment.

Kind of short...

Just a taste? I write myself and always have more than this in mind before I start to tap the keyboard.

Good beginning. Nice conflicted feelings.