All Comments on 'No Through Road'

by demure101

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tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
LOSER OR LOVERS LANE

walking down, 1 struts 1 sags, need more to be said. TK U MLJ LV NV

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 12 years ago
Rhyming Iambic pentameter...

is hard to pull off. Pretty good, but too many "it's" in the first stanza IMO. I'd emphasize the central image as early as possible. The enjambment's pretty good. I particularly liked " ...houses. High/Up dirty gables.." I might have started the poem with L2S2, in fact, because it's so good.(There's that "it's" again. LOL)

"Losers Lane" felt like a cliché to be honest, particularly at the end of the poem.

All considered, however, I enjoyed reading it.

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