Moab

I enjoyed this. A good feel good poem that paints the scene well. One niggle is, for some reason 'ass over end' jarred with me. I don't know if it is cultural, me being European but I'm not averse to the vernacular. It just seemed to clunk.

Thanks bogus

I see what you mean. Yes, kind of jarring actually and "ass over end" is an expression here. Though, I don't have any idea what to change it to at the moment. Luckily, when I do, I can edit it later.

IT WAS UGLY AND MESSY

but we had the music of our lifes. TK U MLJ LV NV

Very vivid imagery and nicely done. Most erotic poems here are neither.

"rain turns to hail/hell, HELL! Laughing...." I particularly liked.

I'm not sure the last two lines were necessary. It felt like you were stating the obvious when all that preceded those lines inferred it so well.

I agree with gm (and bogus),

a good poem, good imagery, though the last lines are as gm said, probably superfluous.

You're obviously much younger than I am. Muddy sex in a hailstorm has long since been replaced in my idea of fabulous sex by a nice, warm, DRY hotel room--preferably before a fire with a chilled Pinot Grigio nearby. ;-)