by bosombuddies
It's been way too long man. I'm glad you finally got around to the next chapter! It was really good, and I'm glad Corrine's back in the group. :)
As far as critiquing goes, it seemed a bit rushed, not like the last chapters. Of course, considering how things have been, that's more than perfectly understandable. Still, it's something to be aware of for the future.
Keep writing, man. This is the best story on Literotica, if you ask me! =)
Your stuff is an absolute pleasure to read! Many thanks,
Q
FOREVER!! I really hope, wish, dream, etc. that they can get together at least for a little while. I always wanted them to end up together anyway!
Can't believe it, Ian finally figures those girls out and you yank the rug out from under him again. This poor guy can never catch a break. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter now if only to see what your twisted mind does to poor Ian and the girls next. As one of the other commenter's said and I agree, this story has turned out to be one of the best stories posted on Literotica. Keep on Writing, Mate!
Just wanted to thank you for these great stories, and offer some advice. I've read several stories on this site, and novels as well, where the author clearly chose to go with the SHOCKING ending, even though it feels unnatural. I would urge you to write what feels right to you, even if it doesn't seem to push the artistic envelope. Again, thank you for such an enjoyable read.
You balance the "too good to be true" bodies and situations with genuine emotions and reactions once again. I always look forward to the next chapter. All the character arcs are consistent over 7 chapters, and that's very impressive.
I really have enjoyed your story and would hope that you update sooner than you have been and it would also be very cool if you allowed Ian to actually get a girlfriend before he leaves for college and it is not one of the girls you have shown and they get very jealous or he does not end up with any of them and they all go their separate way at the end. I still love this story and you have done a very good job with it.
Thanks for a superb series of stories. Definitely among the best on Literotica.
When are you making the movie? ;-)
Definitely the best chapter yet. I still wish Ian and steph would somehow get back together since they were eachother's first...
Fucking in the rain like that will definetely give Corrine and Ian pneumonia
Love the storyline. Publish the next chapter soon. I'm on the edge of my seat and I want to read more soon.
No advice for you, as you've done fine without any advice from me so far. Just keep writing and take your time. No need to hurry with the next edition, the anticipation just makes the stories better. I agree with the others, this is the best writing and best series on Literotica.
It had been a little while. Thanks for not completely abandoning the story as it is really good and well written. Sometimes stories start off well here and then the authors just abandon them forever and that's disappointing.
The story is moving along nicely. But I think Amy is still my favorite girl.
I read 1-5 in one night. was awesome. but on 5 i wanted things to happen and they did, thanks. but can i ask if this really happened or if you are making this all up (if it happened, you lucky bastard, if not you are one creative motherfucker.) please keep this going for as long as possible, i love it and it is getting me through hard times and seperating thoughts in my mind.
-jonas
Hmm! That was great! I kinda like Liz and Ian together. I see some sparks between them ;) happy to see that there will be more! ("to be continued") so yup! My bias would be those two! Post soon!
Please continue writing (and soon!). I've read all of the chapters so far and loved them all. Your character development makes the story seem so realistic!
This is a fantastic story characters have a realistic feel to them the narrators inner voice is good the sex is hot and the plot flows all In all I'm hoping for chapter 8 to be put up soon
Ps I think the Liz romance should stay slow for now but he should definitely go to prom with her
This whole story is incredible; the changes in the characters, the plot, everything.
Five well deserved stars I think. I eagerly await the next chapter, please don't keep me waiting.
PS. If all this really happened to you, then you lived every teenage boys dream.
You lucky bastard!
I have been on this site for many years. And this story is absolutely one of the best. Please write some more!
I like the slow tease of the girls on him. Having Liz and Amy suckle Corrine fits nice. If you are looking to end it at the end of summer, consider one big orgy at the end, with everyone including the guys trying bi.
It would make good take offs to follow each them where they go to college, then reunions.
He's getting to fuck all the time but it's at their whim. It seems to me that he's being used by all of them. He's just a safe guy they keep around for when they get horny and they don't have some arrogant asshole douche to screw them.
Ian really seems to want more and is denying the fact that he is truly unhappy and unfulfilled by his limited relationships with the others. Being told to fuck but not to feel sounds like bullshit to me. Being told you're not good enough to date is even worse.
Anyway, love the story. All seven chapters received five stars from me.
I read all 7 chapters and I think it's a great story. It's not just a sex story. It's more of a real story where there sex sometimes. I pratically feels like it doesn't belong on an erotica website but the really hot sex scenes disagree with me.
Your story is not centered on sex. It's a story based on friendship. Ian is a lucky guy but also a sad guy. He is friend with benefits with 5 gorgeous women (lucky guy) but what strikes me in your story is that none of the girl finds him worthy of dating.
He fools around with Steph and then bam a guy comes and steals her from him. Talia and Amy made it clear he is not boyfriend material and Corrine humiliates him big time not once but twice.
I really want to see him in a relationship with one of the girl. I thought of Corrine who would have realised that he is much more than a friend but you broke my hopes in this chapter. It would have been great to see Corrine fall for him.
It remains Liz and I hope they end up together. The 4 months until college excuse is BS because at 18 a lot of 'serious' relationship don't last this long and if there are really 'serious' the long distance relationship would be a challenge but a worthy one.
Honestly, I can't wait to see what happens next with Ian and the girls. Would like to see him end up with Liz or Amy. Maybe he could have both at the same time! Amy is sexually confident, Liz is a bit shy and could learn quite a lot from her, and if Amy has a strap on or a dildo, there could be some DP action going on there! That would be seriously hot!
He should hook up with Corrine. Or maybe write a spin off of her. That be awesome. :)
Loved the kicker at the end. "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water"
This is the best series on the entire site! Keep up the great work and cannot wait for Ch. 08.
What a great and realistic tale covering the confusions and passions of teen-hood.
Loved the joy of reunion following the tensions of friends offside.
Wishing my close friendship group had have been so exploring and close.
The prom question was a wonderful U-turn.... Just when you think things are headin for smooth waters. Polyamory at its best.
You handled the reconciliation with Corrie beautifully. Ian is one fabulously lucky dude! And far more cognizant of the needs of his lovers than his age and experience would lead one to believe. Rest assured, I believe! Good on ya.
Ian want to trade places with me, No is not the answer I'm looking for. How does this happen two girls become three. Were not even half way thru the week.
Loved the ending. "Who you taking to prom?" So unexpected..
Have really enjoyed reading this story.
No matter how much we try, sex and emotion are tied together! If yiou have sex ith two “friends “, inevitably one or both ladies will say, so, Al, which one of us did you like best?” Talk about being forced to tap dance in a mine field!
Your story continues making this old guy think and relive so many little moments. Itis a wonderful tale and I thank you for making this old guy smile many times.
Good chapter overall, but that fucking-in-the-rain scene was so ridiculous, it made me laugh.
Just reading about Corrine reminds me of my ex and her spectacular 34E tits, dear god they were a sight to see.
Really hate that Corrine gave up her virginity to the asshole for spite. Fucking bitch.
Was it necessary to taint Corrine by having her lose her virginity to asshole Steve that treated her like a fucktoy? Way to ruin it. Made no sense honestly. I just don't buy it. All that anticipation for so many chapters suddenly meaningless after wasting her on that loser. Swing and a miss. What a senseless waste in more ways than one.
I guess all that's left is Ian and Liz fucking. Wonder if he'll get with her and make it last or if all this is just a story of friendship and sex and he finds his girlfriend at college later. Probably the latter but it's nice to keep the hope alive.