That was cold. So well-written and interesting. The divide and conquor strategy seemed solid, if he could let it go and forgive without the admission; reminded me of other stories such as Ohio's Visiting Richard Gronier. But, it seemed a tough strategy to follow from the very first time he saw the video and heard the audio-the loving nature of the tryst seemed too much. The minimal guilt she seemed to experience was disconcerting. Her persistence in continuing what had been only a short affair was maddening. Her emotional response to ending it was even more troubling. Each little thing just seemed to nag at me and make me think the author's strategy was just not worth the trouble. Then the pay-off. Well done!
by
Anonymous06/05/12
ahhh
mazing
by
Anonymous06/05/12
This is really stupid
Why would any hubbie be soooo stupid as to waste all that time, effort and cash trying to prove a point to or with respect to a wife who is so without conscience or honor that she would cheat on him with the neighbor in the first place? And she was sooo shallow he could win his own wife back, if he wanted to, with a couple of foot rubs and dinners? Didn't she promise him her life to begin with? And what about the neighbor guy?? What devilishly diabolical tricks or pranks did he play on him to make him realize how he actually might have damaged his marriage?? LOL , that was sarcasm by the way. I kept waiting for something of value to happen but in 3 pages...0. This documents a really ridiculous effort?? She might feel bad for all of a day or 2. And then right back to the other guy, or someone else?? A sideshow of STUPIDITY! EMPTY! You might as well write a story about him performing The Mikado or Shakespeare before a couple of pigs. Sorry but this is a miss.
My mainest' complaint is that this would have been so sublime to wait to release this story on January 20th - Poe's birthday. That would have entailed me waiting over 6 months to read this , however . A sacrifice alas to much to make. I'd sooner award the five stars now then later. Kudos!
by
Anonymous06/05/12
Cuck
Good job, I was really worried you were turning this into just another married gay guy allowing his wife to solicit lovers so he can queer himself out by proxy. You really had me going. Thanks
by
Anonymous06/05/12
WTF!
I was reading and enjoying the story until I got to the sentence: "I was gonna do a divide and conquer plane: divide the lovers and conquer her heart again"!
Well written and crafted to surprise both his wife and the readers. The inclusion of more dialogue might ha ve enhanced the story for me- but I enjoyed the story just as it is. Thank you.
I have to admit, when I read that he wanted to conquer her heart I feared a reconciliation was afoot. I read on and was pleased that Mack prevented Mark from dipping his wick again. Then whilst enjoying that tid bit, he delivers the coup de gras. Awesome!! You earned six stars but I can only deliver 5.
The SUDDEN ending makes NO sense-- what happened to winning her back?
The author cheated... and I am a little disappointed that nobody else caught this... But then again most folks ARE idiots. The entire PREMISE of the story is the husband's plan to separate the two lovers " DIVIDE and CONQUER" then "win" his wife back to save the marriage.
For the author to suddenly change and announce that the Husband has no intention of saving the marriage (SORCHED EARTH) and that has been planning the divorce action from the beginning.... is a massive deceit on the part of the author. Up to that point there had been no expression or far from the husband that he had changed his mind and was to go " Throw the Bitch to the Curb".
KEY POINT : It is not the ending which is the issue... it is HOW the husband came to this major change in his attentions and his perspective in the last three paragraphs of story without the author telling us this was going on.
Indeed throughout the story every single attempt by the husband to bring about a change in the wife perspective so that she might end the affair FAILED.. Yet in every case...up until the end.. the wife gleefully and intentionally went out of her way to try and meet with the other guy and fuck him.
Yet her actions did not trigger any sort of response within the husband where saw that his plan was NOT working ... where the reader could see that he decided the wife was not worth the effort.
Suddenly in the last two with three paragraphs before the end of the story... We see a totally different man with a totally different set of the intentions.
You got 5 * from me, I wish I could give you more...
This was superbly done. Extremely well thought out, with a believability factor of 100%. Just an excellent piece of work all around.
by
Anonymous06/05/12
Well Done!
Harry,
The author did not change anything. The "hero" did exactly what he set out to do "divide and conquer" YOU ASSUMED that meant he wanted her back. What he wanted was to end the affair, have her fall in love with him again so that his "conquer" would have the most devastating affect.
Nicely done FM and well written.
by
Anonymous06/05/12
To HarryinVA
He DID win her back, and for a reason.
He wanted to toss her aside, and have her know the why behind it.
Now she knows what she lost.
How is that a difficult concept to grasp?
by
Anonymous06/05/12
Great Story
from one of my favorite authors.by the way I knew that H In VA was ignorant and illiterate,but now I can add stupid to his other"honours".
Important note for writers looking to improve (not hacks looking to submit unedited stupid shit): Leave a hint/clue in Act I about the "surprise" in Act III because if you don't, the reader will reject it. Don't come out of left field or else intelligent readers feel cheated. Otherwise a good story.
...and to be honest, so did I. I didn't see the burn coming. So I went back and read the key parts. After confirming the affair, the hubby struggled mightily with thoughts of revenge, of weepy pleas for his wife's return, etc. He never states that his Divide and Conquor strategy is being pursued to restore or preserve the marriage. Not once.
This is the key piece:
"Finally, I came to a conclusion. I not only knew what I wanted to accomplish, but I had a pretty well developed plan for achieving my goals. My campaign would involve two separate courses of action that would take place simultaneously. I thought of them as divide and conquer: divide the two lovers and conquer her heart again."
The conquering of her heart was not his goal, it was part of his plan.
Hiding the ball isn't the same as lying to the reader.
My only criticism with the story is that, as one other commentor pointed out, a foot rub and a couple of nice dinners doesn't really make a woman fall in love with you again, does it? Maybe that needed to be played up a bit. Also, I would have liked for him to have really poisoned the relationship between the wife and asshole. As it stands, after the nuclear fallout, what stands in the way of a renewed liasson between the two?
by
Anonymous06/05/12
arghhh, hate to admit it but
harry is right. the mouth-breathers can pretzel themselves (his "goals" were his goals? really?) but at the end of the day a story gets upvoted for divorce and downvoted if they stay together. logical consistency doesn't matter. now i gotta shower after agreeing with harry
by
Anonymous06/05/12
another winner / great story/ some weakness.WHY?
at first I THOUGHT about what you were doing, why is he romancing a cheating spouse.but knowing your work i started to see that he was going to get even with ann for her infidelity especialy after seeing her continue those liasons. so he got his revenge and she wound up with nothing. what did she think 2+2=4 AFTER the work to break up her affair she should have fiqured out he was on to her. I still donot know her reasoning for cheating on him, where did she think this was going to end up with her neighbor no less. a man with a wife and kids..that part does not work for me.
In the war and love there is not any rule, so a betrayed spouse is got free ticket for any trick, not only the cheater spouse............except for 1-20 years prison steps.
Here the betrayed husband did surprising last trick, which was hid from everybody the wife and the readers of this story.
I think the twist WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SO SURPRISING FOR US READERS if according of Peter Falk (COLOMBO) kind movie method we can see the husband total brain/mind/POV/intention/aim/purpose.............. ................
You really had me going there. I kept shouting to my neighbors that she is not worth it! Then you blew us out of the water and BTTap is correct, you did not cheat on us.
Harry must really hate us the way he chews on the good writers to convince them that it is not worth publishing here....
Harry your lack of inductive resoning is glaring....
this pitch was telegraphed from the set....there has only been one story so pathetic that it ended the way this seemed headed. And that author shot himself at the request of his characters.
this pitch was telegraphed from the set....there has only been one story so pathetic that it ended the way this seemed headed. And that author shot himself at the request of his characters.
by
Anonymous06/05/12
Misnomer
This story is addressed to a discrete audience and the author deserves credit for expertly pandering to them. Nevertheless, a more apt title for this piece would be "Shell Game." The "rubes" are easily conned but savvy readers are not naive enough to overlook the obvious logic inconsistency.
My critic is the lack of epiloge. I am curious of this soon to be divorced pair's future.
FM writes generaly GOOD epiloges to his story, I do not understand the lack of it here. For example to sell the common house decreases the likelihood of restarting the divorced wife's affair with her neighbor.
When I read this story, I never once considered that the husband was seriously seeking a reconciliation. However, rereading the pertinent sections, I can see nothing written except his desires for photographic documentation to warrent that assumption.
by
Anonymous06/05/12
yeah,
Can't have the big surprise come from the guy whose inner monologue we as readers have been privy to the entire story. That will only fool the simplest of readers who are incapable of critical thought. Rational deductive reasoners suffer cognitive dissonance. Few, if any, spelling or grammar errors so 4*.
English
Wow. "No one dishonors me with impunity." Or...
...as another author notes, "consequences are a bitch." I thought we were heading for another RAAC ending - didn't see this one coming. Well done!
Finally
A story with a ending that makes me proud!!!!
Wow!
This was so very well done! Thank you,F.M.!
Always a pleasure when I see your byline. Another fine story.
You set up the story as a RAAC, but the twist at the end was a great twist/touch.
Nicely done, thanks for your post!
Very nicely done
Thank you for the read
it's alway a honor to read your stories
but I do love it when a plan comes together
Fucking Brilliant, 5 stars.
Fuck!
That was cold. So well-written and interesting. The divide and conquor strategy seemed solid, if he could let it go and forgive without the admission; reminded me of other stories such as Ohio's Visiting Richard Gronier. But, it seemed a tough strategy to follow from the very first time he saw the video and heard the audio-the loving nature of the tryst seemed too much. The minimal guilt she seemed to experience was disconcerting. Her persistence in continuing what had been only a short affair was maddening. Her emotional response to ending it was even more troubling. Each little thing just seemed to nag at me and make me think the author's strategy was just not worth the trouble. Then the pay-off. Well done!
ahhh
mazing
This is really stupid
Why would any hubbie be soooo stupid as to waste all that time, effort and cash trying to prove a point to or with respect to a wife who is so without conscience or honor that she would cheat on him with the neighbor in the first place? And she was sooo shallow he could win his own wife back, if he wanted to, with a couple of foot rubs and dinners? Didn't she promise him her life to begin with? And what about the neighbor guy?? What devilishly diabolical tricks or pranks did he play on him to make him realize how he actually might have damaged his marriage?? LOL , that was sarcasm by the way. I kept waiting for something of value to happen but in 3 pages...0. This documents a really ridiculous effort?? She might feel bad for all of a day or 2. And then right back to the other guy, or someone else?? A sideshow of STUPIDITY! EMPTY! You might as well write a story about him performing The Mikado or Shakespeare before a couple of pigs. Sorry but this is a miss.
Great Read
Enjoyed the story. Look forward to more.
woah
What a wicked twist. You know for a second, I honestly thought that they'd reconcile. Great story. Now, I'm ready for more Miz Sarah.
love it
Not very often you get a good read anymore just look at the junk that was posted on this date a bunch of losers.
Excellent!!
Thanks for sharing.
Great story......
Wonderful plot and story execution. Nice ending.
Unusual
Great use of words; great editing. Attains the level of literature. Most unusual for this site.
Excellent Story 5*
Not what I expected at all. Very well done. Really enjoyed the plot development and writing style. Looking forward to the next one.
good
kicked with class .mark should have had serious nut and dick problems (i.e.) missing "No one dishonors me with impunity."
was worried you would have him take her back
no way in hell!
Loved it !
My mainest' complaint is that this would have been so sublime to wait to release this story on January 20th - Poe's birthday. That would have entailed me waiting over 6 months to read this , however . A sacrifice alas to much to make. I'd sooner award the five stars now then later. Kudos!
Cuck
Good job, I was really worried you were turning this into just another married gay guy allowing his wife to solicit lovers so he can queer himself out by proxy. You really had me going. Thanks
WTF!
I was reading and enjoying the story until I got to the sentence: "I was gonna do a divide and conquer plane: divide the lovers and conquer her heart again"!
I mean, what the fuck, stupidmotherfucker!
well done!
Well written and crafted to surprise both his wife and the readers. The inclusion of more dialogue might ha ve enhanced the story for me- but I enjoyed the story just as it is. Thank you.
best story I've read in a while.
I have to admit, when I read that he wanted to conquer her heart I feared a reconciliation was afoot. I read on and was pleased that Mack prevented Mark from dipping his wick again. Then whilst enjoying that tid bit, he delivers the coup de gras. Awesome!! You earned six stars but I can only deliver 5.
The SUDDEN ending makes NO sense-- what happened to winning her back?
The author cheated... and I am a little disappointed that nobody else caught this... But then again most folks ARE idiots. The entire PREMISE of the story is the husband's plan to separate the two lovers " DIVIDE and CONQUER" then "win" his wife back to save the marriage.
For the author to suddenly change and announce that the Husband has no intention of saving the marriage (SORCHED EARTH) and that has been planning the divorce action from the beginning.... is a massive deceit on the part of the author. Up to that point there had been no expression or far from the husband that he had changed his mind and was to go " Throw the Bitch to the Curb".
KEY POINT : It is not the ending which is the issue... it is HOW the husband came to this major change in his attentions and his perspective in the last three paragraphs of story without the author telling us this was going on.
Indeed throughout the story every single attempt by the husband to bring about a change in the wife perspective so that she might end the affair FAILED.. Yet in every case...up until the end.. the wife gleefully and intentionally went out of her way to try and meet with the other guy and fuck him.
Yet her actions did not trigger any sort of response within the husband where saw that his plan was NOT working ... where the reader could see that he decided the wife was not worth the effort.
Suddenly in the last two with three paragraphs before the end of the story... We see a totally different man with a totally different set of the intentions.
A stupid cheap story that was a waste of time
Great
Walk softly and carry a big stick, or your lawyers pen.
So Nice
He didn't take her back. Now she is the loser as well.
You got 5 * from me, I wish I could give you more...
This was superbly done. Extremely well thought out, with a believability factor of 100%. Just an excellent piece of work all around.
Well Done!
Harry,
The author did not change anything. The "hero" did exactly what he set out to do "divide and conquer" YOU ASSUMED that meant he wanted her back. What he wanted was to end the affair, have her fall in love with him again so that his "conquer" would have the most devastating affect.
Nicely done FM and well written.
To HarryinVA
He DID win her back, and for a reason.
He wanted to toss her aside, and have her know the why behind it.
Now she knows what she lost.
How is that a difficult concept to grasp?
Great Story
from one of my favorite authors.by the way I knew that H In VA was ignorant and illiterate,but now I can add stupid to his other"honours".
Double Pleasure for Me!!
First Pleasure = Nice Twist
Second Pleasure = you pissed off Harry
Nicely Done
Good Read****
Thanks for sharing.
Looking for the "gun in the drawer"...
Important note for writers looking to improve (not hacks looking to submit unedited stupid shit): Leave a hint/clue in Act I about the "surprise" in Act III because if you don't, the reader will reject it. Don't come out of left field or else intelligent readers feel cheated. Otherwise a good story.
Clearly a disappointing person... she needed something else that bad?
FM,
Touché'. 1% disloyalty is no different than 100% disloyalty, with a twist of irony...
Certainly knows what she had now that it is gone.
Thanks for sharing your great story on Lit.
x
Harryin Va
This guy an immatured cuck ,couldn't even know his own age:over 18 is the code for all cuckold storytellers-
NICE!!!!!!
"No one dishonors me with impunity." Perfect last sentence.
Harry read too much into it...
...and to be honest, so did I. I didn't see the burn coming. So I went back and read the key parts. After confirming the affair, the hubby struggled mightily with thoughts of revenge, of weepy pleas for his wife's return, etc. He never states that his Divide and Conquor strategy is being pursued to restore or preserve the marriage. Not once.
This is the key piece:
"Finally, I came to a conclusion. I not only knew what I wanted to accomplish, but I had a pretty well developed plan for achieving my goals. My campaign would involve two separate courses of action that would take place simultaneously. I thought of them as divide and conquer: divide the two lovers and conquer her heart again."
The conquering of her heart was not his goal, it was part of his plan.
Hiding the ball isn't the same as lying to the reader.
My only criticism with the story is that, as one other commentor pointed out, a foot rub and a couple of nice dinners doesn't really make a woman fall in love with you again, does it? Maybe that needed to be played up a bit. Also, I would have liked for him to have really poisoned the relationship between the wife and asshole. As it stands, after the nuclear fallout, what stands in the way of a renewed liasson between the two?
arghhh, hate to admit it but
harry is right. the mouth-breathers can pretzel themselves (his "goals" were his goals? really?) but at the end of the day a story gets upvoted for divorce and downvoted if they stay together. logical consistency doesn't matter. now i gotta shower after agreeing with harry
another winner / great story/ some weakness.WHY?
at first I THOUGHT about what you were doing, why is he romancing a cheating spouse.but knowing your work i started to see that he was going to get even with ann for her infidelity especialy after seeing her continue those liasons. so he got his revenge and she wound up with nothing. what did she think 2+2=4 AFTER the work to break up her affair she should have fiqured out he was on to her. I still donot know her reasoning for cheating on him, where did she think this was going to end up with her neighbor no less. a man with a wife and kids..that part does not work for me.
An opinion
In the war and love there is not any rule, so a betrayed spouse is got free ticket for any trick, not only the cheater spouse............except for 1-20 years prison steps.
Here the betrayed husband did surprising last trick, which was hid from everybody the wife and the readers of this story.
I think the twist WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SO SURPRISING FOR US READERS if according of Peter Falk (COLOMBO) kind movie method we can see the husband total brain/mind/POV/intention/aim/purpose.............. ................
Apology
I am sorry : ..............according to Peter Falk (Colombo) .............
Extremely Well Done
You really had me going there. I kept shouting to my neighbors that she is not worth it! Then you blew us out of the water and BTTap is correct, you did not cheat on us.
Harry must really hate us the way he chews on the good writers to convince them that it is not worth publishing here....
Harry your lack of inductive resoning is glaring....
this pitch was telegraphed from the set....there has only been one story so pathetic that it ended the way this seemed headed. And that author shot himself at the request of his characters.
this pitch was telegraphed from the set....there has only been one story so pathetic that it ended the way this seemed headed. And that author shot himself at the request of his characters.
Misnomer
This story is addressed to a discrete audience and the author deserves credit for expertly pandering to them. Nevertheless, a more apt title for this piece would be "Shell Game." The "rubes" are easily conned but savvy readers are not naive enough to overlook the obvious logic inconsistency.
TO CONQUER DOESNT ALWAYS MEAN YOU WON
only that something isnt lost. TK U MLJ LV NV
Lack of epiloge
My critic is the lack of epiloge. I am curious of this soon to be divorced pair's future.
FM writes generaly GOOD epiloges to his story, I do not understand the lack of it here. For example to sell the common house decreases the likelihood of restarting the divorced wife's affair with her neighbor.
It's funny
When I read this story, I never once considered that the husband was seriously seeking a reconciliation. However, rereading the pertinent sections, I can see nothing written except his desires for photographic documentation to warrent that assumption.
yeah,
Can't have the big surprise come from the guy whose inner monologue we as readers have been privy to the entire story. That will only fool the simplest of readers who are incapable of critical thought. Rational deductive reasoners suffer cognitive dissonance. Few, if any, spelling or grammar errors so 4*.
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