- All
Comments (2) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
THE OVERSEERS NEED TO KNOW
should find the one who does. TK U MLJ LV NV
Unfocussed
Unfocussed sounds superflous to me and I think starting with 'my eyes close again' would be better. I'm not sure the last supper line works, it doesn't seem to fit into the poem for some reason. Gravity's palm sounds a little gentle for the poem were the subject seems to be fighting against gravity.
Just a few thoughts. Other than that, nice poem but needs touching up a little.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Interrogation or
More submissions by Remec.