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Interrogation

byRemec©
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by Anonymous

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by tazz31706/03/12

THE OVERSEERS NEED TO KNOW

should find the one who does. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by bogusagain06/03/12

Unfocussed

Unfocussed sounds superflous to me and I think starting with 'my eyes close again' would be better. I'm not sure the last supper line works, it doesn't seem to fit into the poem for some reason. Gravity's palm sounds a little gentle for the poem were the subject seems to be fighting against gravity.

Just a few thoughts. Other than that, nice poem but needs touching up a little.

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