The writing was adequate and the plot a bit pedestrian but, I suppose, one really can't expect anything different from this type of story. Oh well.
Anon commentator was right. Two couples, strip poker. Same old stuff...
Let some of the critics come up with originality...I liked your effort.
Why oh why are people still writing strip poker stories? They don't come any more unoriginal than that. This criticism is worse in this case because the author actually does have talent.
Some of the descriptions are cliche` such as 'licking it off her face like a kitten lapping up spilt milk'.
So author, you have a good style, despite the American spelling, so you just need to come up with a few original storylines.
Tough act to follow? Plus, he never even got to fuck Anne.
It never ceases to amaze me, that so many people can be critics of another's writing, but have probably never written anything themselves. Also, most the time when whining a out this itr that, they don't even have the courtesy to sign in, they feel they must be anonymous, maybe they feel better about themselves thiys way.
Janders, continue writing your way. If anon doesn't like your style they do not need to read it. I definitely enjoyed this and was quite stiff while reading. I wish I could happen upon a good game of cards like this.
Well done, continue to share your adventures with us.
Having tried a few attempts at stories on Lit, I know how hard it is to get spelling, syntax etc. right. It may have escaped readers notice but there is only so many ways to have sex. The difference may be in the 'lead up' or situation etc. and it is up to the author to mix things up and come up with what works for them and hope it comes out alright in 'print'. This was a good attempt at a well known scenario, Janders, please don't be put off by any anonymous comments. I had to delete some as they were quite malicious. I will soldier on and so should you.
aureolas are Halos not on breasts
don't really need to say more
Good story until he saw his wife have her first vaginal orgasm. Duh. They will be done in no time , as she won't ever be satisfied again.
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