- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
^__^
Good read. Thanks for sharing. ^__^
unsure
This feels a little sad. Love that had to be hidden in the dark at first. Some joy in the middle, But the last lines feel like the closing of the day in reference to love. You know, also in 'Beyond the Borderline Book 2 you left me with a lot of sadness. You didn't expand on a wonderful life with Diedre. Most every line contained the sadness of how much you missed Mom. Did DeeDee lead a sad life of a memory? Does this Haiku speak of Simply Death or the Death of Love? What of Emily? Father cannot know? You write beautifully. Your attention to detail, both physical and emotional, is wonderful. Also your grammer and punctuation are pretty good. But all in all, it seems that you have a thing for sad or ambigous endings that do not wrap up the story or poetic events. It has been a good while since you posted a story and I wish you would secrete some more of your creative juices.
5-7-5
Good, but breaks the Haiku rules in a couple lines.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Son's Haiku or
More submissions by CPBaudelaire.