All Comments on 'Making Work a Better Place Ch. 03'

by FinalStand

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  • 11 Comments
Socially_IneptSocially_Ineptalmost 12 years ago
OK.

I have read the first three chapters. I don't know who I want Joshua to end up with more...Peggy or Paulette. Especially, since it seems that Peggy isn't married.

I look forward to the next chapter.

gbaron64gbaron64almost 12 years ago
Next?

There's got to be a sequel. Can't wait to see which way you twist the plot.

Rossini12Rossini12almost 12 years ago
Nice story.

I like the style... self-deprecating, yet you are not as dumb as you make out to be - rather like The Emprer Claudius of Rome, smart. More please, with Peggy & Joshua becoming closer.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
This is around only the third comment I've ever made on a story

I'm involved. This would be a good story even without sex. The plot lines are good. the actions seem real. Keep it cumming.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Wonderful!

It's a pleasant change to read about a charming, well-meaning do-gooder instead of the usual string of male adolescent power fantasies you read about on Literotica.

Funny, well-written, and... plain fun/wonderful to read. Nicely done.

griffin57griffin57almost 11 years ago
You ever thought...

about writing for a living, if you don't that is. Very good. You remind me of Bill Bryson (A Walk in the Woods) You tell the story in a very entertaining way and sprinkle enough humor for the cherry on top of the sundae. I tend to use humor as well.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
This is kind of adorable

Gems like this story are why I favor literotica over some other sites. Joshua is sweet and a people person and just wants to make everyone happy, and though Peggy is manipulating him, she never really has him do anything without his consent. This story is a great example of safe, sane, and consensual, and I wish there were more like it on literotica and the internet in general.

virtualatheistvirtualatheistover 8 years ago
Hilarious

Charming and humorous story. My only comment is that the head of HR in part one should have been reprimanded for failing to do her job.

illwindillwindover 5 years ago

Well alright, story seems to be coming together finally. By which I mean there is some larger plot coming into focus and I'm not left wondering what the point of the story is.

Though I will say, for what is mostly a lighthearted and satirical tale, having women getting raped and blackmailed really seems out of place. You treat these instances with the same silliness as the rest of the writing; which actually makes them more disturbing. It isn't completely ruining my enjoyment, but it is rather off putting that all of these characters treat that kind of behavior as just another day at the office.

FinalStandFinalStandover 5 years agoAuthor
illwind ...

... there was a reason I never felt this deserved to be in the Humor & Satire section and you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. While there is, I hope, much to chuckle about, the core of this story is an intelligent woman with little corporate power having to work through a well-connected corporate drone (to put it politely) to 'make work a better place'.

In chapter one, the primary object was to protect and nurture Paulette, not punish Mr. Goldman. A criminal/internal corporate investigation would have revealed Paulette's transgender nature. As the story progresses, Paulette becomes more comfortable confronting the World with who she really is, but she's not there yet in chapter one.

Part of the 'magic' for me in writing this tale was the 'goodness' in the main characters. Peggy could be using her idiot boss for her own personal power yet instead makes both work and her boss better. Joshua could be an ignorant, stupid pig, but instead, he is a well-meaning moron who only needs a push in the right direction (often with a map drawn out in crayon) to show him the proper path. Paulette rewards the efforts Peggy and Joshua invest in her to become a treasured member of the team. Nice people get to do nice things and make a difference.

I hope that is how things came out anyway.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
SOOOO GOOD!

Man, this should be a tv-show. I'm laughing so hard and i'm keep thinking of the cartoon character Johnny Bravo! LOL

Very well done Sir, two thumbs up!!!

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First off, I thrive on feedback; so please fire away when you get the urge. I read it all and it often brings different perspectives. The main thing making me a little unusual is that I'm bi-polar … with some serious medication on board to stay semi-normal. My other character...