Zoey, Please Explain This

Nice

I get this feeling like the sons fucking mom, then again that could be me remembering a story like this. Nice story though

Zoey

A good Fuckin story. Thanks.

Zoey

Damn, that was hot. I hope there is a chapter 2 soon.

Damn good!

Now excuse me because I can't type one handed.

Continue please

Wonderful start to your story and looking forward to more chapters with daddy and daughter. Also why has mom been so not interested in sex with hubby?

More

Please more it would meen a lot to lots of people! My First comment after 5 months of reading

Hot-- I am so WET!!!!

This was great. Can you please hurry and make more? I am so wet wet wet I soaked through 2 washcloths and may need another FUCKIN HOT!!!

Good story

I think she set it up as she knew about his jerk off towel so she knew about his watching porn.
She sounds like a very hot young woman and by the way she was talking is going to tke care of daddy since his fat ass wife isn't.
For So Wet I would love to help you by licking up all that pussy cream your leaking.

great story for father's day!

i loved this story. the dialogue was great and you treated the reader to two well written fuck scenes. well done.

I want his cocktail too

I have wanted to seduce my stepdad and get preggo by him too. This is exactly what I have fantasized. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail.com email me baby.

damn hot

gave u a 5. will read your other stuff.

Good grief

She wore her spiked golf shoes in the house? How was this child raised? Shameful..

Yes!

I can't wait for the next chapters! Very hot and dirty. Just what a person needs on occasion.

sexy, will read others :)

WOW!

Hope you are plaining on writing a sqeuel. I want to find out if she gets pregnant by daddy. :>

=)

i liked it, my only wish was for more spanking ;) great read

Oh fuck, that's sexy. That made me so Damn wet...fuck!!

Oh she's sooo bad

so Daddy's #6 and she's not on BC, nor uses Condoms, yikes!!

Can you give me her ph#

Thx;
DKP

Unfortunately I found them on the golf course first, rats - reading out of order

Punctuation?

Seriously, HOW do you get so high scores on your stories with punctuation like that?

Do you? know how to use a question? mark? Let me tell you? You don't?

It is impossible to read when every other sentence goes up in inflection?

Especially when it's not even a question?

Nice story! But needs work on grammar

No to offend you by any means, I mean your story was great, but you need to work a little more on grammar (especially when the characters are talking).

For instance: When a character is asking a question it should be written like this: "Why do you care if I do that?" Zoey asked her father nonchalantly. But instead you kept putting the question mark at the end of the completed sentence instead of inside the quotation marks.

I also think I saw a few spelling errors in there as well, but that's usually always expected to see, so no worries there.

Now don't get me wrong you did a wonderful job on the story and I absolutely loved the ending! I love open endings like that because it leaves it up to the reader to make up their own decisions as to what may happen...especially when not happy with sequels: which I wasn't by the way! ;) great job on those as well! And also nice work on keeping the paragraphs not too long.

Bunched up paragraphs are never any fun, so that's a plus! And of course, the sex was super hot too...definitely got me turned on! :) I love incest stories, they're my favorite genre of sexual story! So if you keep writing I will absolutely be coming back! ( could you not make so many series though? I'd like to see a few that just play by themselves...to me things just sort of get a bit repetatative if you keep things going for too long...just my opinion)

Also one final thought I'd like to throw in: I know we learned a little bit about what Zoey looked like in the story, but what about her dad? I feel you should include a little more visuals to help the readers know what to think about while reading even if its just a little here and there.

You don't need a full description of them per say, just some more to help the reader see what you have in your head! To give you some examples: like eye color, hair color and length...shape of hair if wanted, weight: athletic, muscular, hefty, etc. height, facial hair and of course what the good stuff looks like: are they shaved? Size if wanted...some people like to imagine for themselves so no worries here, etc. and if wanted you could throw more into what the surroundings looked like as well:(spiraling staircases, long winding hallways, you know how different rooms looked.)

But yeah your work is great! I hope you keep up with the stories because I would love to read more!! I have an account set up, but just woke and have to get to work soon so I'm writing this real fast; sorry! ;) as soon as I get logged on I will def. fav this story! Keep up the nice work my friend!

Colin

Grammar, spelling, punctuation...

Honestly, it was a little hard to get through due to numerous spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors. If you don't know how to spell a word, look it up.

slightly racist...

"Next picture was her face with her big brown eyes looking up at him with a cock in her mouth. My sweet little girl was bobbing slowly over his average sized cock. Well at least he won't split her in half I thought. And it's white too."
Is it really better that the random who's about to rail out your daughter is white?
I just thought that didn't really add anything to the story or really make sense in that context, anyway.

Hot

Aroused by this story. Great job