All Comments on 'Little Brother's Lesson'

Wonderful simply fucking sucking wonderful, more and more please and soon

You did really well for your first time writing erotica. Keep up the good writing.

the begining seemed a little rushed and not enough background. this deffinetly needs more to tell about the rest of the week and beyond. do they move in together or is it over at the end of the week do the parents find out if so how do they react?

Where was the green lamp and ring? Great story anyway. Let's hear more about them.

The proportion of narrative to dialogue was perfect. The emotions shown by the two came across as so genuine and the sensitivity you showed towards them at the start of their sexual relationship shows a maturity way beyond your years.

Keep on writing. I, for one, want to read more.

I must admit to being rather confused about the "Where was the green lamp and the ring?" comment. I don't think I ever mentioned a green lamp and ring, so I'm not sure what that means. Is it a reference to another story?

As for the "good but" comment, I'm sorry the beginning felt rushed. As I said, this is my first time writing erotica, so I'm treading new ground here. I originally intended this as a one-off, but I am thinking about writing more Cindy & Ryan stories, and if/when I do, that should answer most of the questions you had at the end.

Very good job. I would love to see you continue this story and see how their story continues.

Very well written and pleas continue!

Green lamp and ring i think is a reference to the green lantern (ryan)

In hindsight, I suppose it was pretty obvious. I guess the mention of a lamp is what threw me. Funny thing is, I've never actually read any of the Green Lantern comics; I just thought the oath was cool, so when I couldn't think of what to use for my pen name, I took the first bit of the oath.

Thanks for explaining!

Good job on the story.

I hope the next one is as good as this one.

Hey, writing good erotica is just another kind of battle. the tension, the interplay, the seduction...

Ur story was a real treat to read! it had heart, u took ur time and explored their feelings and the sex was not only hot but very tender(when she licked away his tears..omg man)

But i still didnt buy her motive to start a relationship with her brother, it just seemed sudden. building a backstory between them wudve helped ease into the transition.i hope ull take up that issue shud u choose to continue it. anyways im happy enough with this oneshot. too many other fics having older sis's(my fav kink) just jump into sex. take ur time with this one dude nd just keep it real.

btw just had a look at ur profile nd i c u share my fav kinks. Def lukin forward to more from you! --C.D

I know I could have done the buildup better, and I wanted to, but I just wasn't sure how to go about it. I guess I was in a bit of a rush to get the story finished and submitted, not to mention that I didn't know how big the story would be here (it's eight pages in Word). At any rate, I'll try to flesh that out in later chapters.

Great story, but i agree with the other guy, you might want to add a build up between them. It just seems sudden and a bit unbelievable.

Thanks for the read! Jx.

I wish my sister would go down on me. I'd love to spread my seed insider her as well. I know its a bad thought but dont judge untill you see my sister Natallie.

needs more build up of the plot, more build up of the characters and more chapters. what happens when the parents get home? do they find out the kids are screwing? does he go to the same college she is so they can live together? do they continue or is it a one week thing? please finish soon.

An extended version is on the way, with more buildup that will (hopefully) improve it, and yes, I am planning two more entries in Cindy and Ryan's story, one that covers the days before their parents return, and another set seven years later.

You did a great job, taking a plot often used, and making it so sweet and loving! You made them really care for each other, really want to please each other. Nice! If this is your first submission, you are off to a GREAT start! Many authors only want have the guy please himself. Really good, deep feeling, loving coupling means knowing you two are partners, and want to give and receive all that pleases each other. Thank you for a good, hot story. Thanks also for stressing that incest is usually only a dream-thought, and almost never done.

Ok, dude, u made me sign up just so i could follow ur stories. i love the way you incorporate just the right amount of tlc. it isnt too sweet, nor is it too raunchy.

I actually read the earlier version( left a comment signed off as 'C.D' i think) so yes, i can say this is heaps better. cindy's such a sweet nd honest sis nd ryan actually got a few lines in! tho i still find him it a bit iffy. he needs to be more strongly characterised. also, the sudden turn to the sexual, from his side ('i havent seen u since i was 13, but now..') stil lacks a bit of a punch? i dunno, maybe it needs a more deeper look into the latent desires they had for e/o when they were stil growing up. nd im only nitpickin so much since u seem so intent to improve :p otherwise thnks for the effort,man. this story's one of the rare 'real' ones. keep 'em coming.

What a fabulous sibling relationship.

Wish I had managed as good as that.

Your story gave me 5* pleasure.

It's very nice story even though it's about incest, guy's don't marry someone like their mother they marry a girl just like their sister if they have any. But you are right that indulging in incest ruins families, and it would probably be harder for siblings if they do care for each other, because when it ends if it does end being around each other could bring up old feelings and make them misreable.

will be soon, I hope...

The second installment in Cindy and Ryan's story will be submitted by the end of the month.

the best thing you can do is delete this story and rewrite it adding the proper background and character development you say you know you goofed SO FIX IT. find one of the free editors and delete the story and get the editor to help you properly rewrite this story.

Its been over a year, still would like to know about the other 4 days thank you for part one ... For those that find fault with these stories, I find it interesting that they read them

The story was neither too long nor too short, just the right length, with a lot of moments of tender love. Beautiful.

This story is just so sweet and tender and makes my heart yearn for the older sister I never had. Excellent job. Just the right length with just the right amount of detail, background, and emotive content to set everything up for a smashing climax. Thank you for writing this story.

i stopped half way down the first page, you keep jumping from her telling the story to the narrator telling it that really throws off the flow of the story. stories need to be told from ONE persons point of view and ONLY ONE. do another delete and a proper rewrite THEN it might be worth reading the entire story.

I completely disagree with the anonymous response about you having to tell a story in a certain way. You're the author and you choose how you wish to write it. Keep up the writing.....I look forward to more.

I, too, have to disagree with the other anonymous. You CAN write in omniscient view. Story doesn't have to be told from one point of view. It takes some skills though... (more info for example at http://www.tarakharper.com/k_pov.htm ). Nevertheless, I was so engaged in the story that I did not notice any distractions. Thanks for very nice piece and, please, keep writing. I did not read the first version you mentioned at the beginning, but I certainly enjoyed this one.

please write another chapter ,i did enjoy this story 5 stars

hmm,... sounds great,.. have fun

I love this story. I wish that the 2 follow up chapters you had planned were actually written. The plot lines looked excellent. I truly hope that in the near future those chapters become a reality. Job very well done

I got well into that, well done :)

Enjoyed reading this story of love between a sister and brother. 5 Stars.

When will there be a part 2

This was an excellent story, with hot and sensual sex and a realistic narrative. I can't believe the number of people who have added comments about supposed shortcomings. It was your story and you did it your way, and you did a great job.

Pretty damned good for a first submission!

I think it combined plot, plan from Sis, tenderness from both main characters, and the sex was more than satisfying.

This is the first story of yours I've read (whatta coincidence), and I didn't see if you've added chapters to it yet, but I fully intend to go look when I'm done with my comment!

5 Stars for your first story, and I look forward to reading more.

Thanks, and keep writing!

I kind of backed out of writing this story for a while. A lack of confidence when it came to writing erotica, combined with fear of someone I know finding out about it, kept me from writing more than a little of the next chapter.

However, given encouraging feedback I've received lately (and the fact that I hate leaving stories unfinished) work on Chapter 2 of Little Brother's Lesson has resumed. It's not going to be up tomorrow, but I hope to have it on the site some time in April.

(Tapping foot here)

;-)

Just re-read "Chapter 1", but I'm not seeing a continuation, yet.

Very well done. Lovely story and good flow. Really liked it. Thank you!

So I'm going to voice a minor complaint (or two) , but not because I hate this story (I love it) but because I think it might help.

I found that the connection between the characters was rushed. This is because the story, in length, is someway between a quick romp story and a full blown character arc. In short, I think it would help if you either cut off some parts, or took your time and made sure the charcters felt like real siblings (needed more than just a short 'do you remember' scene between them).

Also, no need to remind the reader they are siblings every couple of sentences. I know what relationship they are in within the first half of page 1. The unnecessary 'sibling' mentions are well, unnecessary. We aren't THAT stupid. Just carry on like any other romance story, except it's taboo and it's fucked up.

However, all things said, this was definetely one of the better stories on this site. I did feel like the people here were real, and weren't used as two mindless sex dolls with 'bro' and 'sis' plastered on to them. I can see you clearly love writing, and this story only promises more to come.

Please don't stop writing. Nobody's happy when that happens.

Ryan was so lucky to have someone like Cindy to mentor him on sex and how to pleasure a female. Ryan will make some gal a wonderful husband. A husband who understands what it means to: love, honor, and cherish. 5 Stars.

I really liked the build up between the likeable characters, and the little interactions as they’re sparking off each other. It just felt like realistic human interaction and discussion. Cindy playing with herself was very hot, and I really liked how enjoyable the sex was for them when it came in. Good little bits like Cindy talking about issues like legality and pregnancy, and the risks of abuse in younger relationships to really establish informed consent before basically deciding they both just want each other was great. I wish I’d had the chance to read it years ago!

And, yes, I noticed she was taller than him. :p

The narrator change isn't a bad thing. It may be unorthodox, but so what? If the story is still understandable, what's the problem? The only thing I might request/suggest would be a little more detailed description of the sensations Ryan is experiencing during sex. How Cindy's pussy tenderly, exquisitely milks his cock, the suckling, velvet caress of her sweet walls, the heat and decadent feel of her lips, wrapped around him...etc. That's just my preference, of course, and it's your story. This was an easy five stars, and I really hope you're planning on posting the next chapters sometime soon!

Well, I just had to check you out here too, didn't I? Lovely, hot, incest story. I really enjoyed it. The initial sense of awkwardness morphing into confidence felt very real. I can only imagine what they get up to in four days... Mmm... :)

What a beautiful well written tale I loved it.Keep up the excellent work thanks for posting.

What a beautiful well written tale I loved it.Thanks for posting and please keep up your excellent work.

Thank you for not taking Ryam from inexperienced virgin to pornstar stud in 30 seconds, like so many other stories. This felt realistic. There was genuine love there, not just lust. Very well done.

One slight critique to start with,but why make Cindy over 7 years older than Ryan,to me it would have seemed more plausible if she was 3 maybe 4 years his age so there wasn't such an age gap.

Also not really a nitpick but reading how Cindy was basically gone for atleast 5 years seems farfetched to see your family.But as for the rest of the story the plot flowed well and both Ryan and Cindy had great chemistry as characters,very touching,but alas I just wish they had fallen madly in love with each other and Cindy had taken Ryan as her Boyfriend and they could've had a baby and gotten married like all Sibling Love Stories should,then it would have been perfect.

I think that conversation between Ryan and Cindy about wrapping their brains around the incest thing was lowkey one of the more realistic ones on this site. Made it feel real, so bravo for that.

Also I know you mentioned you planned to release a sequel to this story, as well as some others, but that update was from 2017 so I think it's safe to just think of you as a one hit wonder now.