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doesn't know terms
Get with the program and use the accepted terms for things. Its "cum" for an orrasm/semen not "come" as written.
Questionable
This didn't really start my engine - too much tell, not enough show and the lack point of view / internal monologue meant I did not empathise with either character. In future use the omniscient narrator sparingly as it distances the reader emotionally from the characters.
On a seperate point, 'come' is certainly acceptable spelled this way, meaning to orgasm. Anon should look in a dictionary before posting a comment.
im so horney
Some text me 786 314 2911 wet Young girl wanting older man's cock in my tight wet Cunt.
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