great story I love the bond that you and him had and I would really enjoy to know what all exactly happened with the three way at the end with your roommate you and your brother
by
Anonymous12/14/14
Loved it!
I also loved the sequel. I hope there'll be more chapters!
I loved the concept, and loved the flow of the story. You just need to either proofread it yourself, or get an independent set of eyes to clean it up. There are many spots where it should have been "she" instead of "her" and the like. If I recall, the very first paragraph or two had a "she" instead of what was obviously supposed to be a "he." Again, much respect for the concept.. Just clean up the details and it will be fantastic.
Once I found out your male lead was five foot, three inches I didn't want to read any more. Sorry, but it is a turn off. Short guys or girls. Can't help it.
why do stories always start out with a terminally shy, short, underdeveloped, immature, and inexperienced nerd, but within a few paragraphs he is super stud, giving multiple orgasms to multiple partners, while maintaining an almost permanent erection?
Do you have a first grader for an editor? OR are you just pure STUPID??? it's a very nice story, but I did have a good time laughing my ASS OFF at your below silly mistakes. HA!
A lot of folk seem to be bitching about the technical quality of your story...piss on them.
they offer up bad remarks about spelling and all that shit but do they ever offer to help
OMG that would be work and then they could not poke fun at others.
A little trick I learned form a Proofreader for the NYTimes. Read it backward, this forces you to look at the word in a different context than what you wrote. This will also help you spot other errors. The mind is a real pain when it comes to proofing your own stuff - it is like it says I just wrote that and I know it is correct.
One of my favorites is the number tree---now I can figure out three, but just how many is tree and what kind of tree--- one of my worst problems is 'that'. I can guarantee if I am in a hurry it will come out taht I finally had to set my dictionary to do an auto correct. Going back to correct this really messes with a train of thought.
Now from the story good start but junior went to wallflower nerd to super stud a little quickly for me. The rationale I can see is his love for Sis. I would have liked to have seen this revelation dragged out a bit more. But it is your story so what the hell and keep on writing please
Your character motivations and plot are unique and believable. The story is so good that the few typos are hardly noticeable.
by
Anonymous10/08/15
So Hot!
This was one of the best I have ever read. Screw the comments about editing. I fix those as I go and never let it take away from the story. You did a Wonderful job. Please, more to come.
This was simply outstanding....was aroused within minutes, and never relaxed....now got to go and find my co-worker with benefits, or I'll never make it through the rest of the day.....
I usually start reading many stories before finding one good enough to finish. I finished this one. I'm sure anyone can criticize it for lack of editing, but those mistakes didn't distract from the flow of the story.
Nicely done!
by
Anonymous01/01/16
Never
Never Have I Ever chapter 1 is very good. I enjoyed it very much. Very Good!
49
A truly honestly Awesome story. I nearly had a similar experience so I can totally imagine this situation taking place. I just wish my experience had involved three girls but unfortunately it was only me and one girl cousin of mine and even I had to leave the day after next. I can just imagine where this might go if Adrienne gets involved since she said this isn't over. It seems as though she wants to join in the fun and get her juices flowing as well. I would love to read more.
Perhaps Adrienne and Lynn will bring Carol onto the brother and introduce her to his pleasure. Then anything could happen.?
I'm always a sucker for romantic siblings who make love. Five stars. Thanks for an enjoyable, sexy read.
by
Anonymous01/29/16
FIRST-RATE STORY THIRD-RATE EDITING
Either you released this story as a first draft or you need a competent editor. Your story suffers from attention to basic grammar, i.e., bad spelling, poor word usage. omitted words, use of popular while demonstrating a lack of familiarity with how to properly express their meaning, impossible descriptions of action, trite meaningless statements. confusing descriptions that totally obscure your meaning, like:
taking your care to Habitat (car)
who care (cares)
wide as saucer's (saucers)
I could care less (couldn’t)
for thirty second (seconds)
Adrienne (in) Sammy's baggy
my other breasts (breast) (YOU ONLY HAVE TWO!!!!)
ever hand into me (had)
Then I started sliding so his entire dick, except for the tip, (-stayed inside of) (was outside) my body (IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE ALL OF HIS DICK INSIDE HER EXCEPT HIS TIP. THAT WOULD ONLY POSSIBLE IF IT WAS INSERTED BALLS FIRST!!!!)
I grabbed his (hands) and placed them
tightening of tension (WTF????)
pleasurable shocks of lighting (WTF II ????) (lightning????)
I slide my fingers (slid)
brother cum (brother’s)
A five star story with three star mechanics results in a four star rating.
I wish this story finishes with a foursome. It would be so good if two friends fuck the brother while sister was crying in her room and later join them to fuck her baby brother.
We need more of this a foursome would be a nice start.
by
Anonymous09/10/16
more
we need to have this one finished more more
by
Anonymous09/11/16
Proofread
Great story u just need to go back and redhead it and fix the grammatical errors and where u say like him dick instead of his
by
Anonymous10/19/16
I'd suggest continuing the story where it left off, instead of time jumping because that happens to often. You would loose interest in the characters that you have already created.
English
easy 5
great story I love the bond that you and him had and I would really enjoy to know what all exactly happened with the three way at the end with your roommate you and your brother
Loved it!
I also loved the sequel. I hope there'll be more chapters!
Great, but proofread!
I loved the concept, and loved the flow of the story. You just need to either proofread it yourself, or get an independent set of eyes to clean it up. There are many spots where it should have been "she" instead of "her" and the like. If I recall, the very first paragraph or two had a "she" instead of what was obviously supposed to be a "he." Again, much respect for the concept.. Just clean up the details and it will be fantastic.
Loved it
Great story. A few mistakes here and there but i havent seen a story yet that didnt. 5 Stars and looking forward to reading the sequeal
Not my thing....
Once I found out your male lead was five foot, three inches I didn't want to read any more. Sorry, but it is a turn off. Short guys or girls. Can't help it.
I don't understand
why do stories always start out with a terminally shy, short, underdeveloped, immature, and inexperienced nerd, but within a few paragraphs he is super stud, giving multiple orgasms to multiple partners, while maintaining an almost permanent erection?
Why
Do you have a first grader for an editor? OR are you just pure STUPID??? it's a very nice story, but I did have a good time laughing my ASS OFF at your below silly mistakes. HA!
proofing
A lot of folk seem to be bitching about the technical quality of your story...piss on them.
they offer up bad remarks about spelling and all that shit but do they ever offer to help
OMG that would be work and then they could not poke fun at others.
A little trick I learned form a Proofreader for the NYTimes. Read it backward, this forces you to look at the word in a different context than what you wrote. This will also help you spot other errors. The mind is a real pain when it comes to proofing your own stuff - it is like it says I just wrote that and I know it is correct.
One of my favorites is the number tree---now I can figure out three, but just how many is tree and what kind of tree--- one of my worst problems is 'that'. I can guarantee if I am in a hurry it will come out taht I finally had to set my dictionary to do an auto correct. Going back to correct this really messes with a train of thought.
Now from the story good start but junior went to wallflower nerd to super stud a little quickly for me. The rationale I can see is his love for Sis. I would have liked to have seen this revelation dragged out a bit more. But it is your story so what the hell and keep on writing please
proofing part !!
I just reread what I said and sure enuf my fingers get from and form mixed up all the time
Brilliant
Your character motivations and plot are unique and believable. The story is so good that the few typos are hardly noticeable.
So Hot!
This was one of the best I have ever read. Screw the comments about editing. I fix those as I go and never let it take away from the story. You did a Wonderful job. Please, more to come.
Monu-Fucking-Mental....
This was simply outstanding....was aroused within minutes, and never relaxed....now got to go and find my co-worker with benefits, or I'll never make it through the rest of the day.....
Very hot!
I usually start reading many stories before finding one good enough to finish. I finished this one. I'm sure anyone can criticize it for lack of editing, but those mistakes didn't distract from the flow of the story.
Nicely done!
Never
Never Have I Ever chapter 1 is very good. I enjoyed it very much. Very Good!
49
Kindly & Kinky
A truly honestly Awesome story. I nearly had a similar experience so I can totally imagine this situation taking place. I just wish my experience had involved three girls but unfortunately it was only me and one girl cousin of mine and even I had to leave the day after next. I can just imagine where this might go if Adrienne gets involved since she said this isn't over. It seems as though she wants to join in the fun and get her juices flowing as well. I would love to read more.
Perhaps Adrienne and Lynn will bring Carol onto the brother and introduce her to his pleasure. Then anything could happen.?
Great story
I'm always a sucker for romantic siblings who make love. Five stars. Thanks for an enjoyable, sexy read.
FIRST-RATE STORY THIRD-RATE EDITING
Either you released this story as a first draft or you need a competent editor. Your story suffers from attention to basic grammar, i.e., bad spelling, poor word usage. omitted words, use of popular while demonstrating a lack of familiarity with how to properly express their meaning, impossible descriptions of action, trite meaningless statements. confusing descriptions that totally obscure your meaning, like:
taking your care to Habitat (car)
who care (cares)
wide as saucer's (saucers)
I could care less (couldn’t)
for thirty second (seconds)
Adrienne (in) Sammy's baggy
my other breasts (breast) (YOU ONLY HAVE TWO!!!!)
ever hand into me (had)
Then I started sliding so his entire dick, except for the tip, (-stayed inside of) (was outside) my body (IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE ALL OF HIS DICK INSIDE HER EXCEPT HIS TIP. THAT WOULD ONLY POSSIBLE IF IT WAS INSERTED BALLS FIRST!!!!)
I grabbed his (hands) and placed them
tightening of tension (WTF????)
pleasurable shocks of lighting (WTF II ????) (lightning????)
I slide my fingers (slid)
brother cum (brother’s)
A five star story with three star mechanics results in a four star rating.
Woo Woo
Great story and needs a powerful ending get writing again finish your job!!
Oscar material LOL 😘
Why not a foursome?
I wish this story finishes with a foursome. It would be so good if two friends fuck the brother while sister was crying in her room and later join them to fuck her baby brother.
Continue
A fun, exciting, erotic read. Continue.
If you need help for grammatical errors, be I glad to same do.
Damn, that was hot
That was very hot
More
Please write more on this story line.
More
We need more of this a foursome would be a nice start.
more
we need to have this one finished more more
Proofread
Great story u just need to go back and redhead it and fix the grammatical errors and where u say like him dick instead of his
I'd suggest continuing the story where it left off, instead of time jumping because that happens to often. You would loose interest in the characters that you have already created.
Brother Got His Cherry Cock Off In Sis' Three No-Cherry Holes
What else are brothers' suppose to do for a 'close-family'member - especially a sistr. You get five Large Gold stars for this well defined story.
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