"Shy Millie discovers her brother's Scottish charm"
Well there was nothing 'shy' about Millie ..........and what happened to the 'thing' in the bag that you made so much about buying in Ann Summers, it never appeared again, how did that fit in?.
Sorry, not a convincing story, it all happend too quickly and too easily to get to the sex bit. You need to build the story more if you are going to 'wow' the reader here. Consider consulting an editor!
I'm originally from Scotland & this buffoon is hysterical lol.
by
Anonymous07/30/12
crap crap
insulting to scots including me and insulting anyone with a grain of intelligence in short all of us also as sexy as a dead rat
by
Anonymous01/19/13
This story has potential and I think that you are an excellent writer. Sometimes things sound better before we put them on paper and they just don't turn out how we imagine them in our heads. Keep on trying, you have a gift don't give up :)
English
UGH!
Good storyline but way to short, it just stopped when it was just getting f'ing good, bit of a dud finish for such a build up in my humble opinion.
I agree
I agree with TNDriver's comments.
Burn it
What the hell was this story about? Burn this piece of shit.
The story was weak. As is the authors profile. Please stop writing. BRB
Chapter 2
Yeh, you were feeding us nicely and then----you took the food away! Let's go for more chapters and see how the two of them get on.
"Shy Millie discovers her brother's Scottish charm"
Well there was nothing 'shy' about Millie ..........and what happened to the 'thing' in the bag that you made so much about buying in Ann Summers, it never appeared again, how did that fit in?.
Sorry, not a convincing story, it all happend too quickly and too easily to get to the sex bit. You need to build the story more if you are going to 'wow' the reader here. Consider consulting an editor!
Garbage!
I'm originally from Scotland & this buffoon is hysterical lol.
crap crap
insulting to scots including me and insulting anyone with a grain of intelligence in short all of us also as sexy as a dead rat
This story has potential and I think that you are an excellent writer. Sometimes things sound better before we put them on paper and they just don't turn out how we imagine them in our heads. Keep on trying, you have a gift don't give up :)
chapter 2
Definitely deserves a sequel ❤
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