Our Trip to Virginia Ch. 01

leave it at part 1

really, there's no need for more

I type my comment

I inform you that you shouldn't bother with a sequel, or any other stories, if your writing is consistently this bad.

Please don't let haters stop you!

Everyone has to start somewhere. Yes, you could use some improvement, but I have yet to read a perfect story on this site. If this is something you enjoy, then have fun, keep polishing your stories and consider an editor to help you with the rewrites. Go to the writer's resource section and read "I am a God!" It is too funny and too true.

To the haters: I am of the opinion that if you have nothing constructive to say to a fledling writer, then please do not discourage them from trying. Close out the story and move on to one you can enjoy. There is nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, that is constructive or helpful about mean and nasty comments. It takes a lot of courage to post a story online for all to read and everyone is deserving of respect for their effort.

title was enticing ...but

I started to read your story but never got past the opening.
Not that it is bad, I just do not like to read first person point of view stories.
try a different point of view.
good luck with your writing and do continue.
jack

Please continue to write more chapters, as you have a good story line going here. Your grammar will improve; your story is arousing and gets the point across. Thanks.

too crude

too direct and crude