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My Wolves

byVampireknighti415©
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Comments (12)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous07/04/12

Bad

This is not erotic....

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by MizT07/04/12

Congrats

on your first submission to Lit. I think your story shows some potential. I wish it contained more info on everyone involved but I'm hoping that this is only chapter 1 in a series. I wish you much luck as an author and will watch to see if you do a chapter 2 to "My Wolves".

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by Anonymous07/04/12

Horrible

I didn't get the story. You need alot of help to make your story more interesting.

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by Poisonlove07/04/12

Hate anonymous

If you don't have the guts to get a nick, at least make a respectful comment for other persons' job, good or a bad it is their time, creativity and emotions flowing here!

Now, my opinion...it's got potential, it's kind of empty as to substance but that also gives the reader a hint that something is cooking there! keep it up!!!

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by AhzureDragon07/04/12

good start

I think this story has good potential. Hope the next chapter gives the lead char name. I think you fast tracked a lot of detail in this short chapter but you have my attention. I will be looking for more posts.

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by AkikoChan07/04/12

it's me naty

Omg I read it!!!!! So u can't say I didn't... Now based on my knowledge of literotica I must say this does have potential... I'm criticizing as a potential reader not a friend... Even tho I super luv u. Don't listen to those saying oh it's not erotic... It takes time to seduce... Can't wait for what's next...

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by sensualwhispers07/05/12

first attempt

As a first attempt it shows potential. However I have a few points I would like to raise. Please double check spellings, don't rely on the spell checker. The word you wanted was wiped not whipped. Also, and this is a personal thing, its to short. If it had been longer then I think it would have been better, more flesh on the bones so to speak. Other than that I think its good.

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by Queen_Vicki07/05/12

cool

cool start. I am looking forward to the rest.

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by Uriziel07/05/12

Editor

I agree this has great potential, but it is being held back by many problems that an editor could help with, so I recommend finding one. The number one problem I see in this work though is the lack of consistency in your 'tense' (present, past, future that kind of thing). Generally liturature is always written in the past tense and the changing in between them leaves the piece feeling disjointed. I am looking forward for more and I will definitely keep my eye on this story.

Uriziel

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by Anonymous07/09/12

potential

I agree with the comments about needing an editor, just to help you keep on track with spelling and tense. I don't mind if stories are short, but this definitely needed fleshing out. Saying all that sounds really harsh but you definitely have something so I hope you keep it up. You've started with an interesting premise and you obviously have a sense of humour, and I liked the list of the three things she's scared about. Good luck, I hope it all goes well with you.

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by Anonymous09/11/12

Thanx!!!

Though I'm not really into werewolves, I enjoyed reading it very much!
I disagree with those who think it short. I needed the space for the Freudian angle it has.

Please go on!

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Hmmm

I agree that you could use an editor, and I do believe that it is a little short, but short isn't my style. I do like the angle in which you are approaching the story. To me it seems a little jumbled, but again I'm used to longer more detailed stories. However, its a good start.

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