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English
better!
This one was better! But I wish there was more...
Great start !
I know it's the second chapter and I still am thinking"Great Start". Story is developing rather quickly and I need to see more. Keep'em comin' hodunk
Good start
over all a fun read. The formatting of the dialogue is a bit unusual, would like it to be more in a standard format. Also would really like you to fill in some details about what happens between "She probably didn't have sex in a long, long time! " and "I take my dick and slowly push the head inside her...." The details are what make it fun and exciting, so please take some time to describe the scene more. What position does she get in? and where? Where are you relative to her? And ... really? You would be thinking she didn't have sex in a long, long time? If it were me I would NOT be thinking about anything like that! LOL!
Shortly after the blow job I said »I'm cumming!«
how long after?
there seems to be a misunderstanding: It is accepted practice that blow jobs finish up with someone coming. Not after.
Hello
Are you planning to do the third chapter?
Shot
Absolute bollox.
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