by Vampireknighti415
I think this has really improved since chapter 1. You've sorted out a lot of your tense issues, still (a little) bit of work to do on spelling. I like that I'm not entirely sure what David is and if he's really a good guy or not. I hope you flesh out their back story so we can learn about their relationship so far. As has been said before you definitely have potential and that did shine through from chapter 1. However now its beginning to take root. Well done!
Very nice... Much improved... I actually like not knowing what David is. Gives it a sense of mystery... keep up the good work
I like it, keep it up. Don't get too hung up on the spelling police. I have errors in my story lines too. We all can't be picture perfect like the pros.
EgyptsGoddess may blow it off, but you either want to improve your skills or you don't. The choice is yours. Improvement requires work but the rewards are worth it.
Look at the most popular stories and authors, they have learned and developed.
I wish you well.
It's a story about wolves but Seth is either a vamp or a witch? let's see...
You are improving in your wording, keep going! To the anonymous: It's not easy to write a 2 or more pages chapter since you can have 6 pages in your program but still here it's just 1 so...bear that in mind. I love long chapters too but I've learned it's not easy to do so!
Like the story, but I get turned off by spelling errors, words used incorrectly, and over usage of a word - such as "sly". After a while I get a picture in my mind of your characters all walking around with a sly smirk on their faces. Character development is essential - so far I haven't seen a reason to get invested in the characters or the story. You'll want readers to care and keep tuning in for new installments, but unless you give us a reason to care, that's not going to happen. Good luck with the remainder of the story!