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A (Not So) Rude Awakening

byTigerspride©
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by Anonymous

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by EgyptsGoddess07/11/12

Excellent...

Awesome Job :D Very arousing but written in an honest way. It's difficult to find a man such as yourself. Reminds me of how me and my man make love. Great Job. Keep writing. :D

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by Anonymous07/12/12

Some suggestions

Try to keep using one tense at all times. Here you slipped between present and past too much. Also it can be a bit disconcerting to read something told in the first person yet it also includes the thoughts in the mind of another. Keep working at it. Good luck.

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by Anonymous11/05/16

Love

What lovely to awaken

Should have been 5 stars but some have the system only gave one star

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