Awesome Job :D Very arousing but written in an honest way. It's difficult to find a man such as yourself. Reminds me of how me and my man make love. Great Job. Keep writing. :D
by
Anonymous07/12/12
Some suggestions
Try to keep using one tense at all times. Here you slipped between present and past too much. Also it can be a bit disconcerting to read something told in the first person yet it also includes the thoughts in the mind of another. Keep working at it. Good luck.
by
Anonymous11/05/16
Love
What lovely to awaken
Should have been 5 stars but some have the system only gave one star
English
Excellent...
Awesome Job :D Very arousing but written in an honest way. It's difficult to find a man such as yourself. Reminds me of how me and my man make love. Great Job. Keep writing. :D
Some suggestions
Try to keep using one tense at all times. Here you slipped between present and past too much. Also it can be a bit disconcerting to read something told in the first person yet it also includes the thoughts in the mind of another. Keep working at it. Good luck.
Love
What lovely to awaken
Should have been 5 stars but some have the system only gave one star
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