You don't need an editor, what you need is a part two.
To Anon, if you want to help be her editor instead of her english teacher. Help her edit her work and don't complain about errors.
Thank you for all the comments, I'm sorry for some of the blatant typos. I agree it is distracting; I'm always up for help with my writing though! As I reread it I'm seeing typos that I had edited prior, so it's the unedited upload. It's also my first time writing Erotica as well so all your critic is welcome. I'm glad some of you enjoyed it, I will be writing more.
I loved the story. Also, I will happily check your submissions for typos in the future. I hope to see more from you soon.
by
Anonymous07/24/12
Awesome
Awesome story even with the few typos
More please. Just what is needed, some full and fine stories of adventurous late ladies.
by
Anonymous07/24/12
Hot
Mmmmm this sure helped me get off :-)
by
Anonymous07/24/12
Good start needs some editing
You have a good start and I would like to see more. Grammar and spell check nice, but I like the subject matter and look forward to getting more of it out of your head and onto the web.
by
Anonymous07/24/12
Interesting story that brings back memories
I went commando before. I was about 15 and had my first Brazilian wax, to please my bf. After a few days, the stubles came out and prikled when rubbed against my panties. It became so irritating and I walked with a sort of limp. My friends asked if I had sprained my ankle or something. I just had to take off my panties and it helped a bit. And My God, with a breeze constantly over my depilated pussy under my short denim skirt! I was worried sick about getting caught. Whenever I caught eye with strangers, I thought they must have found out about my secret!
English
Decent, but...
You need an editor. Too many typos and punctuation errors made it very distracting. Otherwise, the story was good...keep trying!
Hot
Hot stuff PS It really worked for me
Excellent
Ignore comments about your grammar. It hit the spot for me....
Very hot
You don't need an editor, what you need is a part two.
To Anon, if you want to help be her editor instead of her english teacher. Help her edit her work and don't complain about errors.
Editor
Thank you for all the comments, I'm sorry for some of the blatant typos. I agree it is distracting; I'm always up for help with my writing though! As I reread it I'm seeing typos that I had edited prior, so it's the unedited upload. It's also my first time writing Erotica as well so all your critic is welcome. I'm glad some of you enjoyed it, I will be writing more.
Typos
PSBurlesque,
I loved the story. Also, I will happily check your submissions for typos in the future. I hope to see more from you soon.
Awesome
Awesome story even with the few typos
More please. Just what is needed, some full and fine stories of adventurous late ladies.
Hot
Mmmmm this sure helped me get off :-)
Good start needs some editing
You have a good start and I would like to see more. Grammar and spell check nice, but I like the subject matter and look forward to getting more of it out of your head and onto the web.
Interesting story that brings back memories
I went commando before. I was about 15 and had my first Brazilian wax, to please my bf. After a few days, the stubles came out and prikled when rubbed against my panties. It became so irritating and I walked with a sort of limp. My friends asked if I had sprained my ankle or something. I just had to take off my panties and it helped a bit. And My God, with a breeze constantly over my depilated pussy under my short denim skirt! I was worried sick about getting caught. Whenever I caught eye with strangers, I thought they must have found out about my secret!
Just love your story!
hot
got me.soo hot.luv it
nice
Got me wet.
mmmm
very nice story id love to read more maybe other public or just some hot bbw fun
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