All Comments on 'The Lust Boat Ch. 10'

I'm loving the story, but this chapter is really short. And as much as I enjoy a little orgasm denial, I'm thinking Lacey gave up some valuable information very quickly just to orgasm. Either she truly wants to be her agents sex slave or she is one hell of a shallow whore. Either way, good story and writing, and I'll be looking for the next chapter...hopefully very soon.

So she's going to let some bitch destroy her personal life and rob her blind just to have an orgasm? There's a point at which this just absolutely kills any suspension of disbelief, and it's the point at which you treat your character as a drooling moron. Turning a non-con story into a brainless power trip robs it of any erotic value. You're writing mind control or a broken version of BDSM, not non-con. Her "master" is nothing more than a common thief with an idiot for a pet, not some mastermind of non-con seduction. Write your characters as if they can actually think and reason, rather than mindlessly panting for an orgasm, and the story will start to make sense and regain some of that titillation it's meant to have.

For instance, if her slavemistress had actually used her brain, she'd have realized that attempting to "offend" people by pretending to be Lacey with e-mails and facebooks when they haven't seen her at all is more likely to make them suspicious and come looking rather than to tune her out and hate her forever, especially if they had any kind of relationship with her in the first place. If they're idiots they'd fall for that, and if you're writing everyone as retards, at least it's consistent logic, I guess.

All it takes is one suspicious family member to blow the whole gig.

And once the gig is up, suddenly there's a whole lot of signs like a looted bank account that can't have been worth enough to make it worth while, as well as virtual footprints online to trace. Oh, and kidnapping is a federal crime. But it's not meant to happen that way because her mistress is this "criminal mastermind" right?

I hope you're writing these apparent mistakes deliberately as a way to save Lacey from this situation in the end and not because we're meant to dislike all your characters. It's getting to that point very quickly. Because really. Nobody gives up everything they own and love for an orgasm that they might not even get because their mistress is a cruel bitch. That's mind-numblingly ridiculous.

This is so far fetched, you may as well include Bugs Bunny, some aliens and the zombie apocalypse for a touch of realism.

Don't quit your day job.