Annie Oakley and Buffalo Bill Ch. 02

I told you so

as I posted in the first chapter, our heroes rode off into a Colorado sunset. All it took was a little patience by us the readers and all is right with the world. And yet it doesn't feel right. It was too easy and the bad guys caved too soon and too completely. So where as I gave ***** for the first chapter I can only give **** for the second. Still a good story by a great author.

POV of the Second Chance woman

Good story, but I would like 1 epilogue sequel because I do not know anything Buffalo Bill's exwife and the common future of Annie and Bill. Very good invent was from the Author to use POV of the Second Chance woman. *****

AS ALL THE OLD GUNSLINGERS FOUND TO THE THEIR DISMAY

you dont mess with the Buffalo and Annie O. TK U MLJ LV NV

#2 FOR FM.eyes only

CH1 WAS GOOD...CH 2 WAS BETTER....IF PERCHANCE THEIR IS TO BE AN EPILOG IT WILL RANK WITH THE REST OF THE STORY, and THEIR WERE SOME OLD TIMERS IN LEADVILLE AND OTHER COLORADO TOWNS, tk u mlj lv nv

Mercy Me ! Dickens ... I Mean Francis Macomber Chronicles The Saga of A Slender, Texas Rose.

Look it's simple. Really. This story is from the heart & if you are looking to nitpick & point out petty inconsistencies with how the world ' really works ' . Well buddy , this story is a all day sucker. To me, though, that person is 'the real sucker' . This author grows on a reader who is willing to relax & succumb to a charming quasi-fable.

Andy Griffith died recently. When you watch reruns of his shows, its hardto remember they were created against the background of the 60's. There was no actual Mayberry and in real life sheriffs carry their bullets chambered and ready, not in their pockets. The stories of that town beguile to this day regardless of their reality quotient.

This story is for those of us who can take a deep breath & let a talented story teller do his thing. How real & probable are his words? I'm not for sure. If you must have reality - go read the newspaper or watch ' Teen Mom' or 'Jersey Shore' . Snooki awaits your discerning eye. Good luck with that.

It isn't Buffalo Bill Hitchcock

Maybe the title should have been Annie Oakley and Wild Bill. Buffalo Bill's last name was Cody.

I really like your story. Chapter 2 made it hot and arousing at the end ! I think we need another few chapters about Annie and Bill going to Colorado and their HOT antics. You can't just leave the story hanging like this. If Annie is that hot then you need to use it. Thank you.

The attorney could have been Miz Sara

And the story was as good as your Miz-Sara-series. You must have a favour for couraged elderly attorneys winning against all the odds.
5*

Anon repeated what I stated yesterday.

Buffalo Bill Hitchcock was a real stretch. His nickname would be Wild Bill. The real problem that I saw was the main plot device..the fact that the standards were switched on the girl the day she did her report. She would have a copy of the standards that she used for her report. She would immediately see that they had changed. How could she not? If she knew she did her report correctly and suddenly it is wrong, she would know the requirements had changed. It would not be some stroke of genius three months later. The story made her sound sharp for realizing that the boss pulled the switcheroo, but in reality, she would have to be a total moron to not have seen it immediately. To me, that was a huge flaw in the story. This was pretty much a straight line story with no surprises at all. It was a romance. There was very little conflict, nor emotion expended. It had a happy ending, but the journey there was unremarkable, and the plot hole was a crater. This writer is very talented and this was far from his best work. It happens. We all know that!

A sweet love story that tells...

...about a girl who comes into the awareness of her beauty and power, about the triumph of good over evil.

Since this is the author's story, if he wants to name his characters he is allowed to, regardless of how it butcher's some sensibilities.

It was a happy story. Plot holes notwithstanding, it serves a purpose here and I give it 5*****.

Regards,
-Pultoy

BOSSES' ABRUPT ABUSE NOT CREDIBLE

Sorry for criticism but a boss would have been a bit more circumspect in his punishment of a female employee, especially one who is highly intelligent. His treatment of her simply didn't ring true. But it didn't detract from my vote of 5.

CUTE STORY, BUT NOT BELIEVABLE, A FAIRY TALE.

IN REAL WORLD this would never happen,bill going to her house to find her to be a witness,her finding inner strength from the laywer ,her being made up all within days of a trial,her strong testimony, her finding the mistake that lost the case. a next day phone call and a hudge settlement without even a challange. all this happening in a few days. we all know or should know our court system does not work like that.. my friend won a settlement from a hospital where the oxygen suppling the patient cut off to leave a brain injury. after 7 years he was awarded 15 million dollars , they draged it on for another 8 years and he settled for 7 million. that is 15 years later and for half the amount awarded. so much for quick settlements.

has unreal elements

But annie has some believability.Her believing she was at fs
fault is common,being brought up in a culture like small town Texas where women are still considered daughters of eve seducing men,or that she could be aroused in a rape scenario,would make her likely to believe she was at fault (don't believe me?I recently read comments from pro life congressman who argued that children conceived in rape were not unwanted by the mom,since her body wouldn't have lubricated or been able to conceive if she didn't want it..qed).It.prob wouldn't have been that easy in a Texas court,where attitudes are still 19th century and big business is king...prob would be easier in federal court where an Eeo complaint would have been easier to get justice for. The only person more vile thenjorgenson was his wife,she saw women like annie and betty getting hurt abd let them hang,especially annie.

Frances,only sorry you didn't bring ms sarah snd marcy into this:)

Hmm.........

...........OK, I was a little premature with yesterdays comments.
A nice ending but a little trite.
Believability had to be suspended on this one I'm afraid.
It's been an intriguing little tale but this was not your best work FM.
You can do, and have done, better than this!
However, I love your stories and will wait patiently for your next gem.
I appreciate your talent and thank you for your time and effort.
N

Good story

But sort of expected and thus not very exciting. The heroine was very believable.

4 stars

It was a nice story. While it lacked the emotional punch of some of your other work, it substituted a David vs. Goliath legal drama. Maybe it all came together a little perfunctorily, and with a bow on top. One thing that kind of left me a little uneasy was the child-like naivete of Annie; her thinking, language and demeanor suggested a girl in her teens-which left a kind of creepy feeling in me. Still, I'm a sucker for happy endings, and so I'm glad for Bill and Annie.

Who cares if it is believable.

I enjoyed the story. So what if some of it was a bit predicatable. If you enjoyed it, just say, Thank you.

You are a good author, FM

I have enjoyed your work every time.

I did enjoy this story as well, all the way through to the conclusion, and gave you 4 stars for both.

Even so, there were no surprises. I even guessed that the smoking gun would be the online procedures. Regardless, not every story has to have a big reveal at the end. Even though I knew how the entire thing was going to unfold, I still enjoyed the ride.

awesome i love the revenge on that rapist bastard

Delightful

Really good FM! Reminded me of True Grit, The Ugly Duckling, and Cinderella but on a mature and credible level. The joy was having you fulfill the hopes I had for all of the characters in the story. That I could sense the progression was of lesser importance the having you tell it to me. Excellent job and technically proficient.

Good read

Thanks!

Just garbage.

"1*" !!

Missed shot 2

The story recovered - but was never the same.

I would describe the style of writing as sketchy rather than your usual well drawn characters - what was the hurry?

Pulled it out -

And pretty well too - the ugly duckling reference works well -

She learns about herself and takes charge of her life and her needs - nice work - better yet in the end she communicates with her partner which sets up a long happy future -

Nice job -

I Liked it.

I thought your choice of names was a turn off. I skipped the story when I saw it the first time. Came back though, and enjoyed it. Gave it a five. What I don't get is where some people would read something all the way through, get angry and give it a one. If they disliked the content or the plot that much, then why did they finish it, and if they finished it, wouldn't it rate more than a one?

"prideful"!

I haven't seen/heard that word since John Travolta's character in "Urban Cowboy." I didn't think it was a real word until I just now looked it up. I liked chap 2 better than chap 1, but........ I know this is fiction, but civil suits generally take years to come to trial. Additionally, Annie did not sue COG so they did not owe her anything to settle THIS suit. A little extra explanation could have indicated that COG was "settling" with her in return for her written promise that she would not sue them at some future date.

Entertaining Read***

Not as strong as some of your other works, but still a good read. Thanks for sharing.

Merci Mille fois

Thanks again for his little gem of a story

A "3" ...

Would have preferred to see Jorgenson taken "out back" by Bill, beaten within an inch of his rapist life & castrated with a butter knife! As for Bill's WHORE wife, have him leave her penniless on a downtown Houston street corner where she can put all three of her holes to work doing what cheating whores do best! Now that would make this story a "5"!

Shure as shootin'...

....despite the thorns, the Yellow Rose of Texas got herself pollinated!

Re Buffalo Bill’s Name

You tell them, Pultoy! Who CARES that his last name is Hitchcock? He got his nickname from his college days handling the buffalo mascot, NOT from his name being the same as the Old West character. And should the author change the character’s last name to Cody just because that was the “real” Buffalo Bill’s last name?

Over the Top, But Good

The settlement was a bit exaggerated, but nevertheless a good story.

Second time through...

enjoyed it just as much. Thanks!

Further Thought

@Harddaysknight – I somewhat agree that how could she not see that the procedures that Kurt showed her WEREN’T the ones that she had, but I could maybe chalk that up to her being intimidated by him. What I find harder to understand is how they could have changed THAT much for her reports to be THAT wrong.

@sbrooks

I can actually envision several ways that a procedure change could result in a large difference - reporting earnings/gallon vs. earnings/ton is a simple example. Plus, with accounting, a penny difference gets to cost tens of dollars to track down and annotate.

But, there is a simpler plot hole here...she is not an accountant, but an auditor; she has to double-check that the values are correct based on the procedure in place DURING THE PERIOD BEING ACCOUNTED FOR.

So, it would have actually been a mistake for her to apply the new procedure retroactively. Still a great read though :-)

alls well that ends well

A good read but really lacking the drama and angst of some of your better stories.
Annie didn't come across as submissive to me. She seemed to lack confidence but knew she was capable and professional. So I really don't thing she would have allowed Kurt to do what he did without first giving him a good slap before attempting to walk out of his office.
Also, if Kurts wife held the power in their relationship, would she really put up with what he was doing with/to other women ? It's humiliating for her and potentially lethal to the company.

I liked the story

but can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to live in Houston, job or no job. I went to Houston in 1969 and when I left I made sure I took everything I had brought so I wouldn't have to go back. 3 days there was enough.

On the comments, I think the commenter who mentioned the difference between an accountant submitting a report and an auditor submitting a report concerning the audit. Her report should have reflected the rules pertaining to the initial report's time period. I liked the use of some colloquialisms in the story as they were presented tongue-in-cheek by the Colorado boy. And her insecurities were more than believable, for any background. So, I guess I have to give you 5 stars because the 6th star doesn't show up on my computer.

Thanks for sharing your talent.