He is with a girl who got the crap beat out of her because of Lynn and him, and all he can think about is Jamie's big tit's...not one word of sympathy, no offer to help, just stares at the girl and lusts after her....what a piece of work he is!!!!!
Your use of a line I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers made me smile. As I think and say that phrase so often I have shortened it to "Crackers Not Withstanding". Thanks for being in tune with my mind.
I am agreeing with another poster and find his obsession with sex, with the lovely body of Jaime albeit badly beaten and bruised to be a bit disgusting. When did this 50 year old man go from being shy to a pervert and it is not the champagne and Viagra that is doing it.
Not to nit pic, but fake breasts that look like an orange on a skinny chest look like crap in spite of what Freddie thought. Yes, there are some enhanced breasts that look OK, but to my eye, not many and the natural look is much preferred.
Hmm, lots of negative thoughts here, makes it sound like I don't like the story and that would not be correct. Lots of good stuff going on, just some details a bit awry.
The humor came in all the right places. Nothing makes a story more real that well-placed humor. You writing skills are masterful. The long sentences speed the story along at a frantic pace. You have lifted erotica to a new level of respectability as art.
English
What is He?
He is with a girl who got the crap beat out of her because of Lynn and him, and all he can think about is Jamie's big tit's...not one word of sympathy, no offer to help, just stares at the girl and lusts after her....what a piece of work he is!!!!!
crackers not withstanding
Your use of a line I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers made me smile. As I think and say that phrase so often I have shortened it to "Crackers Not Withstanding". Thanks for being in tune with my mind.
I am agreeing with another poster and find his obsession with sex, with the lovely body of Jaime albeit badly beaten and bruised to be a bit disgusting. When did this 50 year old man go from being shy to a pervert and it is not the champagne and Viagra that is doing it.
Not to nit pic, but fake breasts that look like an orange on a skinny chest look like crap in spite of what Freddie thought. Yes, there are some enhanced breasts that look OK, but to my eye, not many and the natural look is much preferred.
Hmm, lots of negative thoughts here, makes it sound like I don't like the story and that would not be correct. Lots of good stuff going on, just some details a bit awry.
Great Story!
The humor came in all the right places. Nothing makes a story more real that well-placed humor. You writing skills are masterful. The long sentences speed the story along at a frantic pace. You have lifted erotica to a new level of respectability as art.
...now that was a strange twist to a very erotic chapter.
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