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trash pure simple
The story might have a good idea but the author has to be a grade school dropout. The use of terms inconsistent with this kind of story and frequent use of "~*~*~" every few paragraphs makes for hard reading and confusion. Doesn't know the basic difference between "come" and "cum" nor when to use either version. Remove this trash ASAP.
That was fun! 4 ****
A bit unrealistic. Why wait until 18. The age of consent is 16 in most states. Nor would a young man be willing to wait. Also his sex play before intercourse seems too experienced for a virgin male and the story was too short
Regardless it was sexy and a better than average story.
Damn...
You all leave the author alone...I fucking loved it. Please write more...
Mmmmmmmmm
I agree, leave the author alone. The story was good, and even realistic. To top it off, I'm licensed to teach and grammar is one of my favorite areas. I didn't see anything that kept me from reading smoothly. And....it never said he was a virgin, in fact the girl mentions in her thoughts that she knew he wasn't a virgin based on prior experiences/previous conversations. I'll definitely be reading more! So keep up the writing!
More
I didn't see anything that made the story unreadable in fact I liked it. Now I only have one question we had a happy birthday where is the happy new year part? :)
RE:RE:
RE: "trash..." -- your comments MIGHT be valid if this story was a technical treatise; but it's not. For example, recurring symbols like "~*~*~" denotes (a) passage of time, (b) change in place or setting, (c) change in POV, (d) any combination of above.
RE: "...fun!..." -- while your observation about age of consent is true, you either omit or fail to perceive other factors. Like an age difference rider on the AOC law. Like social consequences of a minor still subject to parent's guardianship. And like (the most probable situation) the Literotica servers being physically located in a jurisdiction that not only does NOT have a 16YO AOC law, but DOES have municipal, local, county, and/or state law(s) that have great consequences for possession and/or distribution of legally defined child pornography [i.e. sex with minors [i.e. age of participant is less than age of majority] stated and/or implied]. If my last staement is true, and there is mention of sex by/with someone less than 18yo, this story might not be posted for long.
RE: "More" -- ever consider that his birthday is on January 1st? (Imagine the poor sods born on or around December 25th!)
RE: "Damn...", "Mmmmmmmmm", "More" -- Agreed: the author writes well, she should continue to write, and I hope this story remains posted.
Voted 5 stars.
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